Why Gilbert Arenas Was Right To Say He Doesn’t Find Lupita “Cute”

So Black American former NBA basketball player Gilbert Arenas attacked Lupita Nyong’o over her beauty and colour of skin back in 2017.  Since the recent rise of the Black Lives Matter movement, the athlete has since made an open and public apology to the Wakanda actress, admitting he was an idiot for saying what he said about Lupita.  Gilbert found himself under fire for his comments about dark-skinned women on Instagram in which he claimed that very few dark-skinned women are beautiful. He specifically addressed Lupita, pointing out that she was not “cute.” He then went on to insult Lupita saying she was cute in the dark, when the lights are off.

Well, I think his apology is a little too late, its always disgraceful when black men, famous ones at that, publicly mocks and humiliate dark-skinned black women like that. It’s some form of mental illness with our brothers which seems to be incurable. Even if he doesn’t find Lupita attractive, which is not a sin or crime, there is no need for a man to attack a woman because of how she looks. If she is not cute to you, just leave her alone and move on to the ones you find cute.

However, in his idiocy, I still want to address something that he said.

Lupita Nyong’o’s beauty, or rather her attractiveness is often a subject of debate on social media. I have seen a number of posts where black men will be saying things like, “Her beauty is is overrated, talented yes,  but not my type.” So I know a lot of black men feel the same as Gilbert, but will not go as far as to attack a sister like that.

Now as Gilbert ranted on Instagram, he went on to say…

“How black are we talking??? Not to be funny can u name a beautiful black woman on the outside … not brown skin … black like Tyrese black … top 50 most beautiful women off [sic] all time … the darkest women they have is (Keshia Knight Pulliam aka Rudy) (gab)) union) (taral hicks) (Serena Williams),” he wrote back in 2017.

I hate to admit it but there is a little bit of truth in his statement. Though the statement is somewhat true, it’s not because there are no beautiful dark-skinned women, the statement is true because a certain type of very dark-skinned women is the one portrayed in the media as the epitome of dark beauty.

When it comes to very dark-skinned women, we have women like Lupita Nyong’o, Alec Wek, Ajuma Nasenyana and Danai Gurira. These women, though beautiful are only a certain type of dark-skinned beauty. They have very strong features, sometimes almost masculine, and only a certain type of men, not the majority find them attractive.  I do not believe this is to do with their skin colour or shade, but rather it’s their features. Women like these end up getting married to men of other races, especially white men.

Black men, well the majority, whether a woman is dark-skinned or light-skinned, prefer women with soft features, they want that “cute pretty face” and a body that’s appetizing to their eyes, curves, thighs and bigger buttocks.

Just like most white men find white women with blonde hair, big breasts and blue eyes more attractive. It doesn’t mean that brunettes are ugly, it just means there is a certain standard and epitome of beauty within their race.

It is the same within black men, most of them love their black women a certain way. And what’s interesting is those type of dark-skinned women will never be portrayed in the mainstream media as beautiful. We only see one type, like the women below.

My King has always told me that he doesn’t find women like Lupita Nyong’o, Ajuma Nesenyana or Danai Gurira attractive. We have had a number of debates about this, he says they are not “cute” to him.  A few years ago I wrote an article about the top 10 most beautiful African women, and my number 1 was Ajuma, my husband told me straight that she was nowhere near what he would consider beautiful. One thing I know is him not finding women like Ajuma attractive has nothing to do with the shade of her skin, but her features. Some of my husband’s ex-girlfriends are very dark-skinned. He loves dark skin, but the dark-skinned women he finds attractive will never be seen in a movie or on a magazine cover.

What’s interesting is if it’s not women like Ajuma, Alec, Danai or Lupita, then they give us lighter-skinned “black’ beauties. They give us lighter-skinned women with softer “cute” features, in fact, they replace them with mixed-race women who are “cute”, so that it portrays a picture of “the darker black women are, the less “pretty” they are.” For the very dark beauties, they give us the ones who don’t even have any hair, who are bold and masculine. These women are not ugly, but they are not the type of women that most black men would run after.

I think the mainstream media does this for a reason, they actually do not want the world to see very dark-skinned women as strikingly beautiful, hence we have a perception about dark-skinned women like the one expressed by Gilbert Arenas. There are obviously other factors like colonialism and slavery which contributes to black men disliking dark-skinned women, but the total absence of very dark cute pretty black women in the mainstream media is one of the biggest reasons why “black beauty” is undermined.

The mainstream media will never give you black, full black dark-skinned women who look like this, they will not star in a blockbuster Hollywood film, they will not cover vogue, they will never be featured in the press labelled as “the black beauty” yet most black men will find these dark beauties “cute’ ‘pretty’ ‘mesmerizing’ ‘stunning’ and ‘beautiful’.

 

So in a way Gilbert Arenas was right to say he doesn’t find Lupita Nyong’o cute, and there are no black dark women who are out there in the public and are named the most beautiful women of all times. There is nothing sinful or derogatory about not finding someone attractive, especially one who is being pushed by society as the standard of beauty of a certain race. Gilbert was an idiot to put Lupita down, I think she is beautiful, but I agree that she is not “cute”. And yes there is a reason why women like Lupita are fed to us as the epitome of “black beauty”.

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Mary-Tamar was Jean