I can not contain my excitement. I didn’t want to write this blog because I have so much going on in my life right now, we are planning BBE 400 Years Homecoming 2019, I am also working on another project, I dont have much time to blog these days, but I can’t help but testify.
My life has always been a journey, and I have walked the most difficult roads a woman can ever walk. Those who know my journey know how 5 years ago, I was evicted from my house with my children after my ex-husband did everything in his power to get our house, his children’s house, repossessed.
Once I was weak and homeless, he then came after me and tried to take my children from me, but somehow I overcame. I had to flee from the town and move to a new area, as his family and his pedophile Pastor made my life a living hell. Because I moved to a new town , as a single mother, housing became a big problem for me.
The council told me to go back to my old town where I had lived in order to be given a council house. I could not bring myself to live in the same area as my ex-husband and his family, so I chose to leave, which meant the council could not help me.
Somehow, God helped me and I rented a private house, which the council then agreed to pay for my rent.
But within a year, I had met my Boaz at an awards show, but he went back to Ghana. I took the bold decision of inviting him as my spouse, he came and moved into my house.
To cut the long story short, the British system cut all housing benefits and all benefits I was getting, because they said I have brought a man into my house, so they could not help me anymore as I was no longer a single mother.
I tried to stop paying rent, hoping I would get a council house, and my own Uncle, my mother’s brother who was my guarantor received a letter that I was behind in my rent payments. He took the letter, and sent screen shots to my family. The screenshots even reached Zimbabwe, and my family could not help but rejoice.
To quote my own mother, she sent messages to my father in Zimbabwe saying “Jean haana kana mari, anonyepera kunge ane mari. Manje akuzodzingwa paanogara. Vana vake vachatorwa nesocial services vopiwa Shingi. Anoiwana kupiko £2000 yekubhadhara rent muno muUK munhu asingashande. Ane husimbe haana kana chaaonogona kuita pane kungo zvara. Apo murume wake haana mapepa.”
“Jean doesn’t have money, she is poor but pretends to be rich. She will be evicted from her house and social services will get involved, and her children will be given to her ex husband Shingi. Where will she get £2000, she doesn’t go to work and she is lazy, all she does is give birth. Her husband has no papers to stay in the UK.”
I have always worked all my life, I am a mother of 6 children, I have the biggest job a woman can ever attain. I have done things I know most women would never do. To my mother I am useless and I dont have a job, but to God I have the most worthy of jobs.
To hear my mother gloat over my housing circumstances was extremely painful. She never sympathized with me that I was in that situation because I had lost my house during a divorce. I came into the UK and worked my way up, by the age of 20 I was a home owner, but life happened and I lost my home. So I canceled my mother’s prophecy about my children being taken away from me and given to a man who is not even worthy to look at them.
I cried and made a prayer to God that he would avenge me over my enemies and not let me be a laughing stock to them. My mother gave me the determination to have my own home again, though it seemed impossible. I sad to God, if my mother is right, then surely you would not bless me, and let me see my desire on my enemies.
Sadly at that point, my Boaz was still in the process of obtaining his stay in the UK, so he was not in a strong position to help me, and for that we lost our rented home.
We had so much legal fees to pay, and people advised my husband to leave me and move out so the council could house me.
My Boaz and I chose to stay together. I told my husband I would give everything up for him, I did not care about housing benefits or council houses. He told me that I was carrying his son, there was no way he would leave me, but he would do everything he could to provide for me and our 6 children.
When we lost our rented house, not one day did I ever lack. My husband would book us into the most luxurious apartments and houses. God would always provide for us. Boaz looked me in the eye and told me that he would buy me a house, and I would never see poverty.
On the other hand, my ex-husband’s main goal was for me to see poverty and be homeless. He literally took me to court just to achieve that goal, but somehow I overcame.
When Boaz and I lost our rented house, one lady tried to help us by giving us a house to rent, (my credit history was so bad and Boaz was still trying to find his way in the UK) so this lady thought she was helping us, but the standards of the house was so bad, so my husband told her that his children are used to luxury, he could not possibly bring them to sleep there.
So the lady got us a brand new property to rent instead, without any checks or references, and we had the most beautiful memories in that house.
But today, I am so emotional. This Boaz that God gave me, I do not know how he does it. I thank God I sent that invitation to Ghana. I am so glad I was a go getter and I got my Boaz.
He came from Ghana and started a life with me. He had nothing. I had lost everything. We went through the fire together. We cried together. We conquered together.
I never thought I would be a home owner again 5 years after my ex-husband made me destitute . It’s not easy in the UK when your house gets repossessed and your credit history is destroyed.
But today, because of my Baoz, I am a homeowner. I have the keys to my own house. As I write this, my husband is at our house, getting everything all ready, a new kitchen, new floors, new bathrooms. The children are excited to move into their new home.
So many times in life we settle for temporary blessings. I am so glad I never had a council house neither did I depend on housing benefits. I am so thankful the council closed their door on me. It pushed me and my husband to think outside the box. We were never meant to receive government hand outs.
I wanted to also encourage someone, especially black African women. Never despise a man who has nothing. If he is real do not be afraid to lift him up, the black men need us and much as we need them.
I have a husband who is worth everything I have lost, and he has fulfilled one of his many promises to me. Now I have my own home, I cant wait to see where Boaz will take me next….
That is the God of Mary-Tamar