Dear World
Allow me to tell you about a little Kingdom in Africa where I was unfortunately raised. I know a lot about that Kingdom because I walked the darkest corners of it, they call it culture, yes they call it culture. That Kingdom is not very happy with me right now, because I am finally talking about what goes on in the depths of that Kingdom that the people there refuse to talk about.
I told them that the woman who raised me was awfully cruel to me, and treated me worse than an animal. But still, they come out and defend her. I told them that she hurt me so much, but they write to me in my inbox and say, ‘ honour your mother, you are now going too far’.
There is something seriously wrong with this Kingdom of darkness. I think its cursed. The people love rituals and animal sacrifices. They believe human spirits live in animals, or vise versa I am not sure. One of their aminal spirits is a cow they call, ‘cow of the mother’, ‘mombe ye humai’. The mother is given this cow when her daughter is married, and apparently, her spirit goes into the cow. They say don’t ever speak ill of your mother. If you do, you will be cursed. But even if I say to them she wasn’t my mother in the first place, they say it doesn’t matter, the animal ritual still applies.
I lived in shame all my life. I blamed myself for being sexually assaulted by a woman I called MOTHER. She touched my body. She took me into a wardrobe, and brought another child to touch me, and watched. I was just about 6 years old, and my innocence was taken away, and I was made to blame myself.
The Kingdom of Zimbabwe will say, hush now, why say such things on a public domain, we would rather watch live sex on Facebook, or watch a woman cry on Facebook because her husband cheated on her. Those are real problems they say, not sexual abuse. This my dear, they say, is only for your heart. Be good. Be the bigger person. Forgive.
The Kingdom makes girls pay for the sins of their ‘MOTHERS’. Evil is protected, and good is shunned.
I hate that little Kingdom. So small a country, but the biggest evil of the world is concealed there.
I was initiated into sexual abuse, where I was told to do things with my own siblings. Again she stood there and watched.
One day a girl came for me, dragged me all the way to someone’s backyard, told me to lie down and started abusing me. The woman I called MOTHER was there, watching. I could feel it. I could see her shadow. When the girl finished with me, she let me go.
Then I walked home, and I saw the woman sitting there, doing her knitting as though nothing had happened.
‘What were you doing there Jean?’ She asked me.
I couldn’t answer.
‘I saw you’, she told me.
She didn’t look angry. She didn’t shout.
‘You can’t do that, it’s naughty’, she whispered.
I went away in shame. I didn’t know how to stop being ‘naughty.’ I was just a tiny girl, it was beyond my control. I was being taken and abused. She watched, and did nothing but blame me.
Then as I slept, she would creep into my bedroom, the one we shared, and whisper, ‘You are a girl, you should know how to do this…..’
Oh, I was so scared. I was confused. I was terrified of wardrobes because that’s where I used to be taken and abused. She put things in my head and made me believe I was a lesbian. But God loved me, and never made me be with a woman, even though that is what she had set me up for.
The Kingdom of Zimbabwe won’t be happy I said this. Because it might be their best-kept secret. A kingdom where little girls are assaulted by their ‘MOTHERS’ in the name of culture.
Oh and they also do this other sexual ritual in that Kingdom of darkness. They call it culture. Yes they call it culture. These ‘mothers’ tell little girls to lie down, girls as young as 8 are initiated using this ritual where their vaginas are lubricated and are pulled by these ‘mothers’. They say it’s for your husbands in the future, but really it’s for the ‘mothers.’
But yes they will still defend the mother in their animal Kingdom, and say if you dare speak out, she is your mother, and has the power to curse you.
I am not afraid anymore. No one is going to curse me than the HELL I have already lived. There I said it. I am in my Boaz’s arms now, and every night he tells me that I am safe, and no one will ever hurt me again.
jeangasho.com 
My dear, my heart bleeds for you and all that you went through, I am so angry and hurt that you went through such trauma as a child, a poor innocent child. May God heal you and purify you in a way only he can.
Thank you for your courage and speaking out..much love.
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My dear i just want to tell you that you are one unfortunate girl who went through that and im sorry to here that but i grew up in Zimbabwe AND NEVER HEARD OF ANYTHING LIKE THAT. NEVER EVER HEARD ANYTHING LIKE THAT I REPEAT. ITS LIKE ME RIGHT NOW I LIVE IN UK IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO ME RIGHT NOW HERE THEN I WILL START SPREADING THE RUMOURS THAT ITS HAPPENING EVERYWHERE????? STOP SPREADING EVIL THINGS ABOUT ZIMBABWE COZ YOU ARE ONE UNFORTUNATE PERSON WHO WENT THROUGH THAT MAYBE SOME FEW MORE GIRLS AROUND WHERE YOU STAYED WITH LUNATICS OF MOTHERS WHO HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO YOU WHAT THEY WERE REALLY DOING THAT IS NOT KNOWN BY MANY. STOP SPREADING EVIL THINGS ABOUT ZIMBABWE COZ THAT DOESN’T IN ZIMBABWE IAM A ZIMBABWEAN AND I GREW UP THERE. OKAY. NOTHING LIKE THAT HAPPENS. DIG DEEPER AND GO EVERYWHERE AND ASK YOU WILL FIND ANSWERS AND NOT WHAT YOU JUST SAID THERE, THATS A LIE YOU SPREADING RIGHT THERE.
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That’s true they is nothing like that in Zimbabwe I was born in the 50s and have spent my whole life there in Zim. It is the most beautiful country and the culture the best in the world. I’m sorry I cannot blame you it’s the way you brought up where you I don’t know where in Zim they do such horrible things never had anything about that. God will comfort you.
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Sorry to hear about what you went through. Your mother was evil and did not deserve to have children. These things happen everywhere in the world and in most cases it’s never talked about. Even in this civilised world it’s happening every day that’s why there are laws and organisations to help victims come out. Your mother was bad and until you confront her and tell her how you feel you will not find peace in your heart. Whilst it’s very true of what happened to you this is not true to all people so generalisation to the whole kingdom will be very wrong. I also feel that you have the potential of helping others come out of abuse by doing outreach work to the less fortunate ones. Those still captives in the darkest corner of Zimbabwe and being abused everyday. You are a living witness of this a d you can be hero. Find a donor and do charity work and light to the dark Kingdom
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So disgusting, what shame , learning more you, we are living in Morden life , I wish they knew Christ in there 💓
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I do believe you dear May God comfort you through it all You see God blessed u with ur Boaz who understands you I know its not an subject to talk about.
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I love reading your posts, your truths. Reading this Jean, made me cry. I am sorry for all that happened to you. May you find peace and healing.
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You went through a lot of pain dearest, I am glad you are now sharing it. Your story is a heartbreaking one, but please remain strong. You always inspire me, maybe one day I will find the courage to tell my own story.
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Sorry for your experience but not sure about the generalisation in this piece. Maybe it would have been better to say your family not the kingdom of Zimbabwe. In my family we do not give our mother’s spirit to live in cows and defn do not condone any kind of abuse because we have a culture that nurtures children and teaches them to be tomorrow’s leaders…
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I dont know you and I feel so sad and angry that you went through all of that. However, I cannot agree with you generalising your experience and making it the yardstick if lige in Zimbabwe. Horrible things happen everywhere but thats not to say that is the way of life for those people. I also grew ip in Zimbabwe and dont know anyone who experienced what you did. You write bery well but your issues are with your family but not with the country or people of Zimbabwe. Dig deeper like someone said, blame the right people for their evil doings and not a whole population or culture. I also never heard that mombe yehumai is the recipient of some spirit, that is new to me. Again I would never trivialise the abuse you went through, it is horrific and evil to the core but if you are going to burn someone on a stake, make sure its right person or people not a whole population. Hope you get to resolve whatever it is in your heart and get the evil people to pay
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I am sorry to hear this happened to you, very unfortunate and glad that you are now safe. However, I grew up in Zimbabwe and never till today have I ever heard of such rituals. I know of girls who were raped by their relatives, fathers and so forth but not mothers who did that. It must be unfortunate for your case, but it’s not a Zimbabwean curse. It sounds to me like you are also describing different things. The traditions of pulling the labia and mombe yehumai is totally different. I thought mombe yehumai is for when you get married. I am a bit confused, but please continue to trust God he will completely heal you. He is the one who knows it all. Shalom
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Sweetheart this is BB.I feel your pain to the core but I say all is well that ends well.likewise the end always justifies the means .U are now here(where u belong).It’s a new day and I promise this small, divine family will be your shield and project your destiny to higher mountains.Take care of my kids.WE ARE STRONGER NOW.Love you.
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What I don’t understand here is; is the writer talking about kudhonza matinji or rape?
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That is alsoSEXUAL ABUSE. Sadly went through it as a child as well, from the age of 6 to be precise. Just because you didn’t go through it does not mean others didn’t. Let Jean speak Her truth. She is talking from experience which all you people know nothing about. We lived it and are ashamed to share our harrowing stories. Jean is a voice to the voiceless.
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I am so sorry for everything you went through. It must be really tough remembering all those horrible things. I do hope you do receive some sort of help or counseling, because some of the things u say are not true but i know they are probably true to u in your mind because of all u went though. The cows and spiritual things u talk of, its the first time am hearing your version and i grew up in Zim. Just talk to someone, receive counseling.. God is with you, stay strong
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So sorry to hear that you went through such experiences for ‘who says it knows it’. This mother was it your step mum and did you have a father around. Strange things happen in isolated incidents but we dont call such a nation’s culture. I agree with most people here that you have generalised your experience and publicsed it on social media as Zimbabwean culture that is not fair. May you find healing focusing your forgiveness on those who did wrong to you not Zimbabwean culture. Correction – mombe yewumai it’s part of bride price/dowry to thank your mother for your upbringing it has nothing to do with spirits or your mother’s spirit. I think you need to research on meanings of certain things done in our culture from Zimbabwean people as you sound like someone who was is not well informed of this culture you are publicising as evil.
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I am shocked to read this! I HAVE NEVER heard of such and I am struggling to believe that it happened. All because I was born and bred in the beautiful country of Zimbabwe. A place where children were loved and protected. A place where every child belonged to every parent. It’s sad that you missed all this and went through very difficult and painful moments. I pray that you may find help and counselling and prayers. My plea is for you not to paint the entire nation with one brush. It appears to me that your setting was VERY different. It’s my first time in 54 years to hear that the lobola vow latter has the mother’s spirit! Ummmmm. Thank you though for letting it out. Greatful that you now feel safe.
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I agree with the people who say you are extrapolating what happened in your family to the whole of Zimbabwe which is plain wrong. I am sorry for what happened to you at the hands of your mother but her abuse is not Zimbabwean culture. Btw child abuse is everywhere even in Ghana whr boaz comes from including Trokosi or indentured female slavery, rape and Female Genital Mutilation. The fact tht boaz seems to be a good man is down to his family the same way your issues are down to your family not the whole country. Please learn to separate issues.
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