Allow me to tell you about a little Kingdom in Africa where I was unfortunately raised. I know a lot about that Kingdom because I walked the darkest corners of it, they call it culture, yes they call it culture. That Kingdom is not very happy with me right now, because I am finally talking about what goes on in the depths of that Kingdom that the people there refuse to talk about.
I told them that the woman who raised me was awfully cruel to me, and treated me worse than an animal. But still, they come out and defend her. I told them that she hurt me so much, but they write to me in my inbox and say, ‘ honour your mother, you are now going too far’.
There is something seriously wrong with this Kingdom of darkness. I think its cursed. The people love rituals and animal sacrifices. They believe human spirits live in animals, or vise versa I am not sure. One of their aminal spirits is a cow they call, ‘cow of the mother’, ‘mombe ye humai’. The mother is given this cow when her daughter is married, and apparently, her spirit goes into the cow. They say don’t ever speak ill of your mother. If you do, you will be cursed. But even if I say to them she wasn’t my mother in the first place, they say it doesn’t matter, the animal ritual still applies.
I lived in shame all my life. I blamed myself for being sexually assaulted by a woman I called MOTHER. She touched my body. She took me into a wardrobe, and brought another child to touch me, and watched. I was just about 6 years old, and my innocence was taken away, and I was made to blame myself.
The Kingdom of Zimbabwe will say, hush now, why say such things on a public domain, we would rather watch live sex on Facebook, or watch a woman cry on Facebook because her husband cheated on her. Those are real problems they say, not sexual abuse. This my dear, they say, is only for your heart. Be good. Be the bigger person. Forgive.
The Kingdom makes girls pay for the sins of their ‘MOTHERS’. Evil is protected, and good is shunned.
I hate that little Kingdom. So small a country, but the biggest evil of the world is concealed there.
I was initiated into sexual abuse, where I was told to do things with my own siblings. Again she stood there and watched.
One day a girl came for me, dragged me all the way to someone’s backyard, told me to lie down and started abusing me. The woman I called MOTHER was there, watching. I could feel it. I could see her shadow. When the girl finished with me, she let me go.
Then I walked home, and I saw the woman sitting there, doing her knitting as though nothing had happened.
‘What were you doing there Jean?’ She asked me.
I couldn’t answer.
‘I saw you’, she told me.
She didn’t look angry. She didn’t shout.
‘You can’t do that, it’s naughty’, she whispered.
I went away in shame. I didn’t know how to stop being ‘naughty.’ I was just a tiny girl, it was beyond my control. I was being taken and abused. She watched, and did nothing but blame me.
Then as I slept, she would creep into my bedroom, the one we shared, and whisper, ‘You are a girl, you should know how to do this…..’
Oh, I was so scared. I was confused. I was terrified of wardrobes because that’s where I used to be taken and abused. She put things in my head and made me believe I was a lesbian. But God loved me, and never made me be with a woman, even though that is what she had set me up for.
The Kingdom of Zimbabwe won’t be happy I said this. Because it might be their best-kept secret. A kingdom where little girls are assaulted by their ‘MOTHERS’ in the name of culture.
Oh and they also do this other sexual ritual in that Kingdom of darkness. They call it culture. Yes they call it culture. These ‘mothers’ tell little girls to lie down, girls as young as 8 are initiated using this ritual where their vaginas are lubricated and are pulled by these ‘mothers’. They say it’s for your husbands in the future, but really it’s for the ‘mothers.’
But yes they will still defend the mother in their animal Kingdom, and say if you dare speak out, she is your mother, and has the power to curse you.
I am not afraid anymore. No one is going to curse me than the HELL I have already lived. There I said it. I am in my Boaz’s arms now, and every night he tells me that I am safe, and no one will ever hurt me again.