Dear Mary-Tamar, I Want A Solution To Being A Concubine

“Sister, I’m reaching out from the American diaspora. I originally found you because I wanted to find a solution to being a concubine. I stayed to read your opinions on the issues facing black. Keep writing my sister!”

I recently received this comment on my blog, and I forwarded it to my Boaz and he was like, “She means second wife, you really are an inspiration to these women, they learn from your writings.”

This is a topic I constantly write about. I have studied this subject and find it all very intriguing. However, we live in a world where this subject is taboo to even discuss because white culture has made it a taboo, yet for millions of black women out there in various parts of the world, it’s a reality they can’t escape.

I was a born in a country where “concubinage” is rampant and basically the culture, though it’s publicly condemned as a sin and concubines are labelled whores.

Years ago, when I was in my first marriage to a Zimbabwean man, I used to be very legalistic as I was a born again Christian. I was very strict in my thinking, I could never understand the world outside of white Christianity. I remember once my then “sister” now estranged saying to me that she wanted to be with a married man because married men look after their concubines well and will even pay school fees for your child/children. She was like, “if you are a single mother, you are best off as a “small house” as concubines are called in Zimbabwe. “

My then sister was speaking of a reality of many women in her situation.

However, in Zimbabwe if first wives find out that their husbands have second wives/concubines/small houses, the first wives will publicly torture and humiliate the concubines, calling them whores. I find this practice very uncivilized, and there are no laws in place to protect these poor concubines who are actually victims of womanhood. This barbaric behaviour by women in polygamy in Zimbabwe is the norm, but it just goes to show how hostile society and women are to other women who are mistresses/concubines.

So when this reader wrote that she found my blog through searching for a solution on how to be a concubine, I felt really touched, because even though many black women out there are concubines, they do not have the heart to be one. Most of these concubines actually work towards removing and upstaging the main wife, and they cause a lot of heartache and pain to the main wives, which in turn also causes the first wives to behave in barbaric ways which are inhuman towards the concubines.

But slowly, we are now entering a time where concubinage is going to be more common as prophecy is being slowly fulfilled. Whoever thought 2020 was a year that would change the world forever, things are changing, and polygamy is going to rise again especially in the times we are entering.

There are many books on how to become a wife. Christianity specializes on teaching women how to be the perfect wife. But there is nothing out there on how to be a good concubine.

So here are my top 3 tips on how to be a good concubine or rather the solution to being a concubine. I have a lot more than 3 tips, but for today I will only share 3.

  1. Know Who You Are

You can not be a concubine if you do not believe you should be one. You can not go into a relationship with a man with the goal of having his wife removed. This is wickedness. If you are attracted to already married man, and they make it known to you that they are married, and the men have no desire of putting you in the same rank as their wives, then you are a concubine. If you accept this, you will be a lot happier for it.

2. Respect And Honor His Wife

Concubinage is not about you upstaging a wife, or replacing her. An Egyptian handmaid called Hagar did this to her mistress Sara, and it all ended very badly for her. Hagar’s son did not even get to have his father’s inheritance because of her behavior. On the flip side, Jacob had two concubines, Zilpah and Bilhah, and these concubines reverenced and respected their mistresses, and as a result, their sons were blessed and partook in the inheritance of the sons of the main wives.

3. Be The Delight Of Your King

In ancient times, concubines/mistresses were trophies of Kings or wealthy men. Ordinary women or women of lower social statuses were upgraded to become concubines. For these women, to become concubines of Kings or prominent men was the best thing to happen to them, so concubines were always content with their place, and never dreamt of upstaging or becoming wives. Being a concubine was good enough. They understood that they had a role to play in their Master’s life. They were simply there to be the delight/pleasure of Kings. In return, these concubines were given security, shelter, food and clothing and lived lives they would never have dreamt of.

Sadly, today, these concubinage spirited women do still exist, but they are now on Social media, (Instagram) most in the form of slay queens, where they will disrobe for all men, and being a delight of all men, instead of being a delight of their chosen Master.

Modern day concubines would rather be delights of all men.

So I pray that my blessed reader today, and many others who read my blog find their paths or solutions in becoming blessed concubines and the delights of their Masters/Kings, not curses or distractions, or worse being the delights of all men on social media.

The Genesis Of The Revelation By

Mary-Tamar Was Jean

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