Blended Family Series: I Taught My Children To Hate Their Biological “Father”

Firstly, I am not a Christian, I do not live my life according to Christian doctrines or principles, I am an Israelite, so I live according to Hebrew culture and principles and follow the Hebrew God. So no one can impose Christian principles or Zimbabwean principles on my life.

Secondly, I do not follow this strange philosophy taught by people, especially Christians, that a mother should not tell her children that their biological father is a wicked man. I did this for almost two years after I had separated from my ex-husband, and my life was almost completely destroyed by this christian philosophy, until a friend, a white woman sat me down and said to me, “Jean, listen love, this man is destroying you and your children, he is so cruel to you, whilst you sit here and pray for him, and tell the children to pray for him. Stop extending any kindness to him, and let the children see the evidence of what a monster he is, and your life will change for the better. The more you are kind to him, the more you give him the ammunition to hurt you and the children even more.” So whilst my African friends were telling me to pray and fast for my ex-husband, my English friend told me to do the exact opposite and see the change.

From that day, I threw Christianity in the bin where it belongs, as well as the Zimbabwean culture I was brought up in, that a “Father will always be a father.”

I sat my children down, and showed them all the court documents and the things their so called “father” was doing and writing and the danger he had constantly put them in.

It was during this season I sat my children down to tell them the truth.

I was like, “Guys I know we have been praying every Sabbath for your “father” to come back to you guys and love you again. You have seen me fasting, you know I have sent him dozens of emails, when we were in the refuge everyday I tried to call him, but he would cut my calls. But now I have to tell you the truth, because what we are doing is not healthy and if we continue being kind to this man, he will completely destroy me and you.”

I told my children that every month I was going to court, alone, as their “father” was actually fighting for them to be placed in care and taken away from me. I told them that going to court was so hard and painful, so many times I felt weary and wanted to give up, but because I loved my children, I could never give up on them.

I told my children that their “father” did not wish to ever have a normal relationship with them, that he chose Walter Masocha, a pedophile over them.

I told them that all the emails I was writing to him, begging him to stop taking me to court and see his children outside the courts as I didn’t want my children to grow up fatherless, he was taking those emails to court, saying I was mentally unstable. He also took the emails to Walter Masocha, of which the pedophile used in court, but by the mercies of God, Masocha was still found guilty.

I showed my children court evidence that their “father” wanted them in care, instead of having them live with me, their mother.

Before I even finished talking to them or teaching them how to deal with their enemies, of which their “father” was, it was my eldest daughter who asked me, “So why have we been praying for him then?”

“I thought that’s what God wants us to do, but I was wrong. The more we pray for him, the more he hurts us.”

My little son, who was only 6, was like, “Please mum, I don’t ever want to see him again. I don’t want to go into care.”

Even instinct told my children, as young as 6, that it is morally and spiritually wrong to love and bless your enemy.

So I said to them, “so help me fight him back, if we are a team in spirit and truth, this man will be out of our lives and this court battle will be over.” And lo and behold, from that day, even the tables turned in court, and without my prayers and protection, and the prayers of my children, everyone in court started to see this man as the monster he was, and within months the court case was over and he was banned from ever coming near me or the children.

When our prayers went from, “Oh God bless him please,” to, “Punish him for his wickedness oh Lord, let all the curses he is hurling on us go back to him,” things took a turn for the better, a huge burden was lifted from our shoulders. Life started to be good.

The thing is when you pray to God for Him to bless your enemies and not punish them for their wickedness, He actually does what you are asking of Him. God will give you the desires of your heart, that is the art of FAITH. This principle of FAITH was taught to black people by their colonizers and slave masters, up-to today, black people will even fight for their oppressors to be forgiven and not face God’s wrath or justice. The only so called principle black people took from the bible is to love and forgive their enemies, hence they are still slaves today.

So when I saw the blessing of “cursing” your enemy, and praying for God to punish them, I then taught my children to never pray for a person who is hurting them.

I taught them to do exactly what their forefathers did. What King David did, and how he dealt with his enemies. I taught them that no Israelite ever prayed for their enemies to be blessed. No Israelite ever turned another cheek, instead they prayed for the destruction of their enemies, that their enemies should melt like snails.

I taught them that they should be like King David, a man after God’s own heart, and HATE with a perfect HATRED.

“Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD, and abhor those who are in rebellion against you? I hate them with a perfect HATRED, I count them my enemies.” Psalm 138.

So I taught my children that they should HATE their enemies, and their biggest enemy in this world is their “biological father.”

I have Zimbabweans who wish my children to grow up and go back to their “father”. But that is never going to happen, because like King Solomon said, “Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is grown, he will not depart from it.”

In fact, years later my own daughter was to teach me and remind me of the principle I had instilled in her, she told me to stop “loving” my mother because my mother didn’t love me back.

My daughter reminds me to never extend love to my enemies

It was funny because I still had that Zimbabwean culture in me, the culture of worshiping mothers, no matter how wicked they are, and it was my own daughter whom God used to open my eyes, that even a mother is not exempt from being treated like an enemy and hated with a perfect hatred.

I remember when I told my children to stop praying for their “father”, I told them not to ever see themselves as Fatherless, that it was not their portion in life and their father was their Heavenly Father.

The beauty of it was when we stopped praying for their monster “father”, God opened a door, and behold, their real earthly father, Kofi Nino, my King , Boaz and Knight came to redeem me in his shining amour.

I’m sorry to blow my own trumpet, but I know there is no love story on this earth bigger than mine, Romeo and Juliet doesn’t even come close.

I said to my Knight as he was pursuing me,”But I have 4 children my Lord, and you have none…” and he said to me, “God has blessed you with the fruit of the womb, I love children, everything that is yours is now mine, even the shower gel in your bathroom is now mine.” And from that day, before he even met them, my Boaz took my children as his own, and our beautiful blended family was born.

The Genesis Of The Revelation By

Mary-Tamar was Jean

2 thoughts on “Blended Family Series: I Taught My Children To Hate Their Biological “Father”

  1. I am Zimbabwean and Christian and I must say I agree with you on this one. I comment you on your openness to your kids because what your wex husband was doing was going to destroy you. You didnt only teach them to hate him. But you taught them to appreciate your love and your efforts. It also happened with me when my father died his family abandoned us and we grew up without any gesture of kindness from them. They married off their children and we where never invited but now that we are grown and ripe for marriage they are coming to us left right and centre saying they want to make up for lost time. We are not fools and we know what our mother went through because of them and how we used to really feel like the undesirable and outcasts. Hatifaniri kudya muroyi nekunyara you did well for the wellbeing of your children.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Being honest to yourself and children has set you all free. It’s high time people become real and stop being guided by doctrines that were designed to keep slaves subdued and submissive.

    Liked by 2 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.