Dear Zimbabwe, This Is How Kutanda Botso Is Done, In Global Style

This is an article for Zimbabwe only. God, I should have written this essay in the Zimbabwean tongue Shona, but unfortunately or rather fortunately, I can not write the tongue perfectly, neither can I read it fluently or understand it well, my eyes itch each time I try to read anything in Shona. And I am not saying this to even insult the tongue, its simply the truth. I grew up speaking it, but it is not in my veins or bones to write it. The reason is because Shona is NOT my mother language, because the Zimbabwean woman who nursed me and raised me is not my mother, hence her tongue is foreign to me. If she was my mother, as a writer, I would be fluent in her tongue. But my tongue is English, I was born writing it fluently, it is my most natural tongue, the only language I ever knew how to express myself in when I held the pen, it is indeed my tongue, because it was created by King James the first, my Hebrew Forefather.

So Dear Zimbabwe, I write to you today in my tongue English, the language which flows naturally in my veins and bones…I want it to be known today, that I Mary-Tamar was Jean Gasho declare myself the Queen of Kutanda Bosto. Give me the title officially, write it in your oracles and history books I pray. Teach your children for generations to come, long after I am gone. Make me your national example of what it means to be cursed in Zimbabwe. Give me the Crown officially, I beg…

I will even spell it out in your tongue…”Ndiri kutanda botso” in style….

Ever since I publicly disowned Miriam Matambanadzo as my birth mother, I have had Zimbabweans day and night, writing on my Facebook and blog that I am going through kutanda Botso, a Zimbabwean curse which is bestowed upon a child by the gods of the land if the apparently the child rebels against their mother. Every Zimbabwean on this universe strongly believes in this curse.

They constantly tell me day and night that I am cursed…that because of my “mother” who tortured my spirit, body and soul all my life, that I am going through the process of “Kutanda botso”…

My so called blood “sister” and “brother” who dwell in Zimbabwe are constantly on my Facebook wall cursing me, using their real accounts and fake ones too.

Because of the wickedness of their hearts, and how evil they are, they can never recognize a blessing, rather they see it as a curse. And they call curses blessings. They say everything which is happening to me is a CURSE…as I am on my way to Eldarado to rule Utopia with my King, they say I am tandering botso. They say the gods of the land of Zimbabwe are punishing me for disowning my “mother” and the country. They say I need to go back to Zimbabwe and ask for forgiveness for the CURSES to go away, and have a ritual of calling on the ancestors of Zimbabwe (kubika doro) to cleanse me…

But today I stand on a hill and say,” I do not want to be cleansed, I want the CURSES of Zimbabwe to overflow on me…I am literally drunk in the curses, like I want them to pour, because I love them…as they pour on me, something magical happens and they turn into…should I say it?

When the process of Kutanda botso began in style.

Ever-since I disowned my “mother” and the “country” the floodgates of Heaven were opened…

No woman in Zimbabwe today or in the past has ever had what I have today, who in Zimbabwe can stand on a rooftop and say she was given not one but two enormous diamonds by a King. Who can stand on a roof and say they have 7 children, all conceived and birthed naturally without a single complication? Who in the land of Zimbabwe can say they had 4 children and a foreign King came to make them their Queen…forsaking all the virgins and noble damsels in their land? I mean what woman in Zimbabwe has this? Can someone answer me?

When the house of Saul was cursing King David, he said, “Let them curse, don’t stop them, so that God will look upon me and have mercy, and turn the curses into blessings.” That was my forefather right there, ever so clever and cunning he was our David, wise as a serpent, harmless as a dove. He knew how to make the most of curses thrown at him…

I have always tapped into the anointing of my Father King David, when Zimbabweans tell me that I am tandering botso, I get up and dance in my chambers, I dance like David danced…

How can I be hurt by people in Sodom and Gomorrah telling me that fleeing the city of sin means I am cursed?

When they say I will walk naked in the streets as I tanda botso…behold the King brings me shoes I have never worn all my life…

Just last month, my “former brother” Kudzai Gasho came on my Facebook wall and said I am cursed so bad that soon I will be eating from the bins and walking around naked…lol, I know right…

I remember running to the King saying, “Look, Kudzai has come to my wall to curse me…” and I laughed and danced…

And lo and behold, within 7 days I had a rare pink diamond rock on my finger…

Not only that, gifts of all sorts of expensive apparel were overflowing in my chambers. My King laughs when he gifts me with clothes, and says, “This is what it truly means to tanda botso my beloved.”

Then when he adorns me in world glory, he says “Go forth and boast to your enemies my sweetest love, my dove.”

The King told me that he is redefining what it means kutanda botso, and he wants to give me a brand new wardrobe…so that at least if I am tandering botso, it’s better to do it in proper style. He said I might as well tanda botso with my hands draped in diamonds, my head wrapped in Gucci and walking in Alexander McQueen…He said I want you to show these Zimbabweans how Kutanda botso is really done my baby girl…

He even wants to take another damsel in distress from Zimbabwe and make her tanda botso in style, as my hand-maiden of course… since I am the Queen of kutanda botso.

He’s constantly showering me with gifts and spoiling me with all sorts of luxury clothing, things I never thought I would wear in my life, and I say, “baby please, this is too much my Lord”. Honestly I can’t even post all the things my husband blesses me with on social media, my life is even more blessed than what I show on social media, that’s how bad the situation is. Whilst other Zimbabweans like Passion Java do the opposite on social media and show what they do not have, I have to conceal the overflowing of blessings in my chamber …

The peace and joy I have is something money can never buy…

The beauty and glory of my sons and daughters…

I have a handmaiden, who serves me food in bed daily as I nurse my new-born. I have 7 children who fill my bed-chamber with joy and laughter daily, they are constantly picking flowers for me and making all sorts of beautiful cards which screams “Best Mummy ever”. I have a husband who worships the ground I walk on…

I have never worn such comfortable shoes all my life.

Oh boy, and now, as my royal engagement is celebrated in Ghana in the national newspapers, Zimbabwe on the other hand is rather silent. I mean the silence of Zimbabwe tabloids on my engagement is so LOUD, considering the papers made so much noise about my suffering. If it was their pagan Queens like the Cookie lyons, Zuva’s or Olindaz who had got engaged with two enormous diamonds, the whole country will be celebrating, but this is Jean Gasho we are talking about, they can only watch from the terrace and hurt and hurt and hurt.

The fact that the country can never celebrate my royal engagement, such an engagement which has never happened before in the history of the country, that a woman is given two rings, and a tiara, and gold by her husband…Has that ever happened in Zimbabwe?

Yet the country will celebrate women buying themselves rings, they will celebrate an older woman paying for her own lobola and wedding, but the pure royal engagement of Mary-Tamar was Jean, they can not write about, because the glory blinds them. . Isn’t that the ultimate proof that these are not my people. I can only be written about and celebrated in Ghana…my country…

They say the only time you should ever look back is to see how far you have come, I look back at the pagan country and say…

Thus how far Kutanda Botso and the Curses of Zimbabwe has brought me…

The Genesis Of The Revelation By

Mary-Tamar was Jean

PS: you may find more grammar and spelling errors in my work lately, I never have much time to revise, I have a new baby to look after, but I can’t help but pen…

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