I always wanted a lot of children since I was young. I thought if mother nature allowed me, I would have at least 4. But here I am today expecting my 6th.
When I shared on social media that I was expecting baby number 6, a lot of people were happy for me, whilst there are a number of people who could not help but express their shock and outrage at the idea of a woman my age giving birth to 6 children, especially in this era.
Well, I don’t blame the mindset of a lot of people, we live in a society that has programmed people into the believing that having a lot of children is somewhat wrong and outdated. It’s something that people did in the olden days, but now it’s not quite normal or appropriate.
Here in England, the system is programmed to accommodate 2 children per couple, maybe 3 at the most. When booking for holidays, clubs etc that’s when you realize that 3 children at the most are the expected normality. I read a report not long ago by Optimum Population Trust which said having more than 2 children is bad for the environment.
Some people ask me why? Some ask me where I find the strength.
For a long time, I battled with the fact that I was unlovable. I battled with this feeling way into my adulthood and I concluded that the only place I would be accepted and loved would be in motherhood. I can honestly say I found that redemption when I first became a mother 14 years ago. I found a place to let go off things I never understood. That unconditional love I searched for all my life, I did find it in childbearing.
Maybe I can understand why Paul wrote that, ‘But women will be saved through childbearing–if they continue in faith, love, and holiness with propriety’, 1 Timothy 2:15.
‘and it came to pass in those days, that the Lord remembered Jean, and opened her womb again, and she conceived and gave birth to her 6th child…’
God has opened my womb and gave me the desires of my heart. It’s not easy being a mother. It’s the hardest job ever, but the most satisfying and rewarding. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I wish I was a super perfect mother but I’m not. I wish I had super perfect children but they are not. That’s what makes the journey of motherhood beautiful. Through all my imperfections and my children’s imperfections, there is only one thing that that remains, the unconditional love I searched for all my life.