Wigs And Weaves, The Embarrassing Madness Of Black Women

I have always been a woman of conviction. I tend to believe what I believe, even though millions of people on this earth may not have the same thought process as me. I have always been like that since I can remember and my convictions have shaped me into the woman I am today.

I strongly believe there is something mentally wrong in the mind of any black woman who covers her own hair and wears a wig which imitates the hair of another race. I honesty believe this is mental bondage or some sort of insanity within black women which automatically puts them on a very low pedestal compared to any other race.

Yes, I already know this is a very political topic. I know there are already a million debates about it online. I know my view is but a tiny drop in the ocean of opinions. I know my view wont change any black woman out there, because fake hair is the emblem and essence of what it means to be a black woman. The moment you look at a ‘beautiful’ black woman, I bet you a million pounds her crown will be covered with a white woman’s glory. I get all that, but like fire in my bones, I cant help but write about this.

Every time I look at a black woman with artificial hair I cringe, literally. Just two days ago whilst in town I saw a black woman, walking and loving herself, but on her head was the most hideous, dirty looking wig. Honestly it was disgusting, and I could tell from where I was standing that it didn’t smell good either. My heart just sank for this black queen, I wanted to go to her and say, “Sweetheart, whatever state your own kinky natural hair is, I know without a shadow of doubt that it looks a million times better than that wig you have on.” I wanted to just snap the hideous thing from her head and bin it. Just looking at her, I felt the shame and reproach of the black woman.

I know a lot of amazing, beautiful black women who cant survive without Brazilian hair.  Take away their Brazilian wigs and weaves they will act like their circulation has been cut off. It is awfully sad, because in my own world I dream of waking up one morning and walking in a world were black women do not need to cover their hair in Asian women’s glory. Sometimes I feel like these other women, especially the Asians who sell the Brazilian hair to us, they must laugh at us really. The whole thing is beyond pathetic.

If Asian women and White women went out of their way to cover their own hair with kinky and Afro weaves just to look like us, I am not going to lie I would find them inferior and pathetic. If I saw white little girls aspiring to have hair like mine, despising their own straight hair, looking in mirrors and wishing their hair would just kink like mine, I would consider those white little girls mentally unstable. It would be appropriate to offer them some sort of counselling and help, and remind them that they are Caucasian and their hair grows straight and will never be kinky like mine.

However, nearly all black women, especially those in power with prominent positions of influence, mimic Asian and Caucasian beauty and somehow this embarrassing  insanity is regarded as normal.

I have a lot of admiration for UK Female Politician Diane Abbotte in terms of her political achievements and I know a lot of black women see her as an inspirational figure. I would not have said anything about her wig if she wore it quietly and not made noise about it. But some time in 2018 during an interview, when confronted about some unfavorable views she used to hold some years ago, in her defense she said something that left me shocked. Diane Abbotte said, and I quote, “I used to have an Afro back then, but now I have straight hair. Times have changed. The Afro is gone and so are my old views.”

Diane Abbotte said her Afro was gone and so were her old views

Diane Abbotte literally insinuated that wearing your hair in an Afro was backward and dated, and to move on with the times and be more professional, black women should be in straight hair, ie wigs.  The funny thing is Diane looked way better and absolutely gorgeous in that Afro she calls old fashioned than she has ever done in a wig.

Anyway, not being a hypocrite, I have won wigs before by the way, but I felt so uncomfortable and felt wrong.  A wig is the most uncomfortable thing one can have on their head. It just feels so horrible, you need a bit of air on your scalp. Its sad that we have all these inspirational black women wearing wigs all the time when they could use their platforms to inspire black women to embrace their own hair.

Below are five black women I consider powerful and influential, yet they are not powerful enough to embrace their own hair. They are not powerful enough to resist the glory of Caucasian and Asian women.

UK Labor MP Fiona Onasanya in a wig
Michelle Obama in a wig
tyra-banks-net-worth-1528218654 (1)
Tyra Banks in a wig 
Oprah Winfrey in a wig 


at in-store appearance for Berlei Sports Bras U.S. Launch with Brand Ambassador Serena Williams, Macy's Herald Square Department Store, New York, NY August 25, 2016. Photo By: Kristin Callahan/Everett Collection
Serena Williams in a wig

Honestly these amazing black Queens with so much talent covering up their own crowns as if it’s something to be ashamed of. Then what hope does the black race have, especially black women when the leaders and inspirational figures can never embrace their God given hair?

When it comes to Asian and Caucasian women, they are the ones who have to set the standards to us black women on what beautiful hair is, and black women cant help but salivate and drool with envy when they behold the natural hair of these “blessed”  women.

When Kate Middleton got married to Prince William, the biggest thing that was highlighted about her beauty was her hair. She chose to wear her hair out, breaking royal tradition because she said William loved her hair and this was her day to show it off. Her hair was her best asset, and on her wedding day, it was her glory.

On her wedding day, Kate wore her hair out because her husband loves it.

The saddest thing about black women is on their wedding day, its unheard of and uncommon to see a black bride in her own hair. When its their wedding, black women literally marinates themselves in make-up and cover their heads with Asian hair, on the day they are supposed to showcase their God given glory to their husbands, they hide it all in shame and would rather look like Kate Middleton.

When black women get married, they find it such a taboo to do so in their own hair

Husbands of black women do not have the privilege of Prince William of just saying, “I love my wife’s hair”. They have to stroke their wives’s Asian wigs even on their weddings. In fact they are not even allowed to touch the wig lest it falls off. That is the reproach of the black woman. Even when making love, a man can not dare touch the head of a black woman lest the weave/wig is ruined.

I remember one Nigerian woman saying to me, “Ok they are blessed with nice hair (white women). We may not have the hair but we are beautiful too.”

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge visit the Fire Station Arts Centre in Sunderland
For Black women Kate Middleton’s hair is the epitome of what it means to have beautiful hair
Black women will do anything to have hair like Bhavna Limbachia, they will make sure their wigs are even glued to their head to achieve the same look and have a center “parting”

Below is a picture of the state of millions of black women in an attempt to look like women like Kate Middleton and Bhavna Limbachia.

Black women have to glue the wigs to their own heads to achieve the perfect Kate Middleton look
Naomi Campbell in a very bad wig/weave

For me, as sickened as I am by what I see around me, I may not be able to change the world, but I have been able to change MY world on this matter of black hair. I have three daughters, and they are all dark skinned beauties who wear their own God given crowns.

I have been able to change my world…
My 14 year old daughter in her own crown


My two year old daughter loves her hair 

My four year old daughter who has recently started growing dreadlocks said to me the other day, “Mummy, the only beautiful hair in the whole world is dreadlocks. I love my hair mummy.” My heart just melted as I listened to my baby girl appreciate her God given crown in all its glory.

My four year old loves her dreadlocks 

My convictions about what it means to be a black woman, no matter how uncommon they are in today’s superficial and plastic world, have driven me to educate my girls not to go with the crowd, but stand apart from them. I am just blessed that I have managed to instill in my daughters that nothing will ever replace their own crown and it would be complete insanity for them to believe that an Asian’s woman’ hair would look better on them. I refuse my daughters to be part of this embarrassing madness.

I believe this madness is spiritual and I wish the witch who cast a spell on the black woman would just undo the spell and take away our reproach. Maybe some day…

The Genesis Of The Revelation

By Mary-Tamar was Jean


5 thoughts on “Wigs And Weaves, The Embarrassing Madness Of Black Women

  1. Love this piece about black women and weave. Just a few days ago I was waiting outside a very luxurious establishment owned by an Arab gentleman whilst my wife bought hair to have a weave done. I believe one has to have confidence in their dressing so though I do not mind women having natural hair I would not tell my wife or any person how best to groom themselves unless an opinion is sought from me. Love your article though


  2. Thank you for this ! I wholeheartedly agree (reason I stumbled upon this post) it makes me sad to see how we as black people are not our own standard of beauty. A wig is a hat- yet you arent allowed to wear hats in many establishments ..but wigs no problemo 😂 it all starts with self love and self realization. No one is better than the other in any way..and all hair is manageable if you take the time to nourish and love what you’ve got!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Mary Tamar ☺ thought provoking article as per usual – I understand your issue with black women being all up in arms about the owning a wig and how you wish for a more “natural hair embracing” society, – but I can’t help but notice that your article is sort of focusing on one racial minority – the black women and their lack of self love in terms of embracing natural hair, whilst caucasian women are praised for wearing out their own. You forget that the majority of caucasian women that you seem to be putting on a high pedestal, are just as unhappy with how they look and go to great lengths to look like women of colour – what with the self-tanning, cultural appropriation in terms of hairdos (which they financially benefit from), surgeries to imitate and try to achieve the level of women of colour’s beauty (which almost always ends in disaster and they are aware of this too). Why don’t you call them out on their long list of eerie actions? With black women, our main issue is wearing other races’ hair, yet we get bashed and shamed for it – whereas white women get praised donning the same hairdos that are deemed as unattractive on black women. Hayi man. Instead of bashing black women, encourage and uplift them. Also, with the Natural Hair Movement in full swing nowadays, most naturals don wigs as protective hairstyles. I know this because I do too. There you have it. I think you should do your research from all angles before writing harsh articles because black women are slowly discovering their internal power and their majestic beauty by the day. It isn’t gonna happen overnight. Transformation (both internal and external) takes time.

    NB: It certainly shouldn’t be an issue when a black woman dons an afro wig since it imitates her own natural hair texture – considering the fact that white women also wear extensions/clips-in on their hair. I challenge you to write another article on this, Mary-Tamar.


    1. Very interesting article, it’s on point. The only thing I would say is that it takes two to tango, the black men who are with women wearing weaves and don’t say anything is because they actually do like the weaves. So many times I have heard men compliment the woman on their hair.


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