I am a black woman, and I strongly believe that change is urgently needed to end the epidemic of black lone parent households in the United Kingdom. According to a report that was published in March 2022 by the UK Commission on Race and Ethnic Disparities, among ethnic groups in the UK, the range of lone parenthood rate is very high, compared to that of Caucasians. The least stable families in the UK are African and Black Caribbean families, where 63% of children live in lone-parent households compared to just 6% among Indian families who are the most stable. Yes you read that right, Indian families are the most stable families in the UK, whilst Black families are the least stable families in the UK.
There is only one reason why Indians comprise of the most stable families in the UK. Divorce rates among Indian families are almost unheard of. One of my husband’s wives is Indian, and I have to say they are very well cultured, rich in tradition and goal centred. They are not ashamed of their roots and traditions like Africans. When Africans and Black Caribbeans come to the UK, they tend to shun their originality and traditions and adopt the Western cultures. Indians however maintain and even expand their cultures in the UK. They also have a strong sense of dominance, hence in the UK they dominate the property and corner shop industry. They keep generational wealth in the family and they understand the power of identity. Hence it is unheard of for Indians to marry outside their race. This is their power. This is a trait that does not exist in the black community, especially in the UK.
Black people in the UK lack the sense of unity and purpose found in the Indian Community. Black people normally have a strong sense of self-hatred. They normally see it as an achievement to marry outside their race, especially when they marry Caucasians. They see having mixed race children who have Caucasian features as something superior. The sad thing is most mixed race relationships of black and Caucasian couples mostly end in separation or divorce.
There is a strong need for black people in Britain to learn from Asian Communities. Going back to our traditions and culture of how our forefathers kept their families intact and thriving is key to securing a healthy and prosperous future for our black children in Britain.
One of the main reasons why the Black Family Structure in the United Kingdom is in such shambles is because the root of the black family structure is broken. Through slavery and colonization, black men were stripped off their roots and identity and black women were conditioned to disrespect and undermine the authority of the black man. That is why today, black families in the UK consist of the largest numbers of lone parents, mostly single black women raising fatherless black sons and daughters.
This brings me to the point of my essay. In order to remedy this epidemic of fatherless black children in the UK, black people need to return to innocence, and learn from their ancestors from understanding the root of what made powerful black families and kingdoms in history.
Historically, the root of raising strong black families and kingdoms was always in polygamy. In both African and Hebrews cultures, black men had a strong conviction of having multiple wives. Polygamy was always at the core of strong black families. The nation of Israel was formed by one Black man Jacob and his four wives. This was always the culture, faith and traditions of black men until the slavery and colonial era, where the false pagan religion of Christianity was introduced to black people, and many black men throughout Africa were made to put away their multiple wives and children. That was the beginning of the destruction of the foundation of the black family unit.
400 years later, it is important for black people to understand that there will never be true emancipation from colonialism and slavery without going back to our roots of who we were before we were told that our family structures of polygamous households which was the norm, was a sin.
Black women in the UK especially, instead of raising fatherless black children have to go back to innocence, and understand that the main reason why they are raising black fatherless children is because they have been conditioned to undermine the authority and importance of the black man. The reason why in the Asian communities divorces are almost unheard of is because Asian women respect their men.
Black single mothers have to ask themselves why they are the only race with the highest single mothers in the world. Statistics show that 70% of all births to black mothers are nonmarital.
If you google “Single Mothers In the UK” , the search result is dominated by black single mothers. In other words, the picture of what single mothers look like in the UK is single black women and their children.
Until the UK black woman understands that the black man is not just a sperm donor, but the pillar and head of her and her children, she will continue to raise fatherless children who will continue the cycle and thus black people will always be on the bottom of the societal ladder.
Until the UK black man understands that even though he may dwell in Britain where the culture forbids and looks down on root of African family structure which is polygamy, it is important for the black man to go back to his roots which is embedded in him being a leader of his family. Once the black man takes his role as the leader of his family, he will be empowered to raise his children under one family umbrella, and know that it is not a sin or wrong to have multiple wives, which in the long-term will benefit all his children. In short, black people, women and men have to return to their roots of polygamy, this is the only way to emancipate ourselves from the damage that has been done to our families for over 400 years. For the sake of our children, for their future and stability, power and dominance, black people in the UK have to go back to their culture and roots and embrace polygamy.
How Polygamy Will Benefit Black Children In The UK
- More Black Children Will Have A Constant Father Figure In Their Lives
A father is an important role model in every child. Growing up without a father has serious impacts on children, and sadly the effects of such an upbringing fully manifests in adult life. A 2021 research based article by Omarr K. Rambert stated that, “The perception of Black fathers is that they are largely absent from their children’s lives, and that such absence—and the ensuing experience of growing up fatherless—is a direct cause of social issues in Black communities. Through media representations and policymaking, the absent Black father narrative has taken shape over the past fifty years, giving rise to the belief that fatherlessness is a distinctly Black issue.” To some degree I do agree with this stereotype because it has some roots of truths in it based on statistics.
Polygamy in the black community would limit this black societal issue as many children of single mothers would benefit from their mothers marrying men who already have other wives/wife. Once a man marries a single mother, the children of the single mother automatically becomes his. According to the Hebrew God YAHOWA, once a woman conceives a child of her then husband, her child/children from previous relationships will automatically become her current husband’s. The children of single mothers would then benefit from having a father.
- Sister Wives/Co-Wives Will Help Raise Each Other’s Children
Black women in the United Kingdom have developed a culture of always working long hours and having less time to spend with their children. As a Zimbabwean born woman who lived for years in the Zimbabwean Community in the UK, I witnessed very disturbing behaviours of Zimbabwean women in their attitudes towards working and raising children. Many black women, especially Zimbabwean women in the UK have a poor sense of balancing motherhood and work, they seem to prioritize work over the well being of their own children. Black women in the UK would rather take a 6 months old baby to nursery whilst going to work long shifts. This is one of the biggest cause of black boys in the black community having the highest knife crimes rates in the UK. Not only do these black children have absent fathers, they also have absent mothers.
As a result, whilst black boys turn to knife crimes and other dysfunctional behaviours due to instability at home, black teenage girls turn to have the highest teen pregnancy’s statistics in the UK.
Polygamy would eradicate the problem of black mothers being absent from their children’s lives due to over working. Wives will take turns to look after the family. Not only will this benefit the children socially, physically, spiritually and emotionally, but the collective income from co-wives will put the family in a far better position financially, increasing the likelihood of starting businesses and other bigger income generating projects where they would all be self employed instead of working for the system. So through polygamy, black children will benefit from always having a mother figure in the home.
My children have always had very close bonds and relationships with my husband’s wives. This is one of the most positive aspects of polygamy, it actually benefits the children more than the adults.
- Children In Polygamous Family Will Benefit From Being Part Of A Large Family
According to a very balanced article by Wendy Jessen on children benefiting from being part of a large family, she states that, “Large families have the advantage of utilizing each family member’s strengths in daily life. Children come with their own personalities and skills. Some are quiet, some loud; some are kind and caring, some bold and independent; some may love music or sports; some kids are culinary gurus, while some may have inventive ideas. Pulling from everyone’s skills can make family life more enjoyable and fulfilling. Utilize this diversity in family problem solving, planning trips or trying to generate ideas. Each unique person will have something new and different to contribute. Not only will each person feel needed and wanted, but they will also each develop a strong sense of self. Each personality can be fun to get to know and love.”
I certainly agree with Wendy Jessen on her points about the benefits of a large family in child positive development. As a mother of 7, my children’s sense of unity and family is very strong and they all rely on each other. They always defend each other against outsiders, creating a strong sense of power. There is definitely Power in numbers.
Naturally polygamous households will have a lot of children, creating a strong sense of unity and identity in the siblings, were they will all draw from each other’s strengths.
According to research, children with a lot of siblings have greater social skills than those without, and married people who grew up with more siblings are less likely to divorce. So polygamy in the black community in the UK will break the cycle of dysfunctional and lone parent households within black families.
But Polygamy Is Illegal In The UK, Will This Not Be Breaking The Law?
Marriage does not have to be legally bound to be recognized as marriage, our ancestors, African or Hebrew never went to any registration office to sign any marriage certificate. Jacob was not legally married to any of his 4 wives. King David was not legally married to any of his 8 wives. Abraham was not legally married to either Sara or Hagar his concubine. Our African ancestors also didn’t marry through signing marriage certificates, they married through paying lobola or bride price of virgin wives.
Marriage in the eyes of YAHOWA the God of Israel is bound by the father giving away his daughter, payment of lobola to a virgin bride and or agreement of two consenting adults through consummation. A private ceremony or wedding celebrations of the marriage is enough to seal the marriage in the eyes of man and God.
So in the UK, black families can practice polygamy freely without breaking any law. And until they return back to this sacred ancient tradition of our forefathers and ancestors, black households in the UK will continue to make up the highest single parent households with dependent children. And if that remains the case, black people will continue to be a statistic of the most underprivileged social rejects of modern Britain society. Because the cycle and chains will never be broken. Polygamy is the only answer.
Black people should learn from Indians who have the most stable families in the UK, Indians are successful in family and empire building because they respect their ancient cultures and traditions. Black people should expand their sacred culture and traditions of polygamy here in the UK thus giving them power.
The Genesis Of The Revelation By
Mary-Tamar was Jean