Dear Jean
I happened to be googling different things about the UK as I am seriously thinking of starting a new life there and somehow your blog came up and all those gorgeous photos of you. Congratulations !
My name is Amy I live in Portland Oregon in US. I was born into an abusive family, the abuse was in everything from my mothers sick and twisted religious beliefs to physical abuse, mental and verbal abuse, and at age of 15 my mother decided she was done being a mother. Here in the states, they have emancipation for minors and the courts allowed my mother to make me an adult at 15.
Not knowing how to do anything at all naturally I looked for and found an older man in his mid 20s that would take me in. Because of the abusive home I grew up in I made for a very good woman for any man, servant is really what I was, there to cook, clean provide sex as needed endure him beating on me and bare 2 children. I eventually left him at age of 21 were I thought I could finally find a good man that loved me. I didnt realize from being abused my entire life I would just end up with another abusive man and not even realize it until I was already in too deep. This man was the same in everyway only WORST then the last, and I stayed 5 years, to then find myself trying again this time at age of 28 with now another child I thought it would finally be different, this man said and did all the right things I had never been happier, we married. And he decided when we fell into financial hardship I should become a prostitute and feed our family. That went on for years… the money was fast and easy for him. So why work I guess was his mindset.
All I wanted ever was just to be loved and have a family, I dont think thats asking to much. But today I am now 39 and I wonder if its just me that’s unlovable. There are many many details I left out and major horrible events in between some of what I have wrote that I left out. If I wrote it all it would take days and for most I have told my story to its almost unbelievable.
I know I’m tired, I need something. I still have 2 children at home as the others are now grown living their life but nearby.
Congratulations again on your success and not being afraid to find your happiness. I just wanted to tell you that you inspired me.
Thank you, Amy
Dearest Amy
Thank you for writing to me. I was truly encouraged reading from you. You are an amazing woman because you have been through abuse that makes most women end up breaking down but you are still standing. You can pose for such a beautiful picture with confidence and ease and that shows me what a strong woman and mother you are.
When I read your email my heart was touched because I was reading my own story in a different way. Yes, your story is unbelievable because any abuse especially by the woman who birthed you is never normal. I know because I was also birthed by a woman who despised and abused me so bad I too thought I was beyond love and unlovable, which opened doors for me to meet my abusive ex-husband and the prophet who cruelly abused me. A mother’s love is supposed to be the most precious love of all, so when a child is deprived of that and receives cruelty from the woman who is supposed to teach them love, they won’t know what love is and it affects the relationships they make in future.
One thing I took from my abusive mother and my ex-husband and the ‘prophet’ is that I am stronger than I thought and that God actually loves me, so I am very lovable. My experiences made me a better person, a better mother and I discovered my real self. There was a time I thought I was ugly because my mother never told me I was beautiful, but often told me I had ugly features. My ex-husband never once told me I was beautiful for over 10 years we were together. So today when I pose for pictures, it’s been a long journey for me, I know who I am.
God bless you Amy, yes come to the UK it would be lovely to have you here. We will also be having our annual JAW conferences in the UK which would inspire and empower you. England is a beautiful country though cold. I believe a fresh move would do you so much good as it would be a new chapter in your life. Who knows maybe you are meant to meet your Boaz here, your husband who will give you unconditional love and redeem you.
All the best Amy. Remember you are a JAW bone…
Jean x
jeangasho.com 