Why I am no longer Zimbabwean…

I have finally left Zimbabwe, its been a long journey, but like how Ruth left Moab, I did it, and will never look back. As a writer, I have not only left the country physically, but I have left the country emotionally too. During my time off Facebook, this was something I had to reflect on.

I had got myself too involved with the political situation and other social, spiritual and economic issues facing Zimbabwe, which saw me leave Facebook after some cyber bullying. But my time off Facebook was worthwhile. I chose to go a completely different path and follow my heart and my dreams. Black British Entertainment Network was born.

Today my heart sings a new song, and my tongue is the pen of a ready writer. Some may be offended by my song of praise, but it is my song and I will sing it loud the way I want.

I just love the bible, I love it more because of its controversial verses. It is a mysterious book filled with so much pearls of wisdom that even Christians find offensive. This scripture especially has been my guide as a writer in my journey of leaving Zimbabwe.

Listen, daughter, and pay careful attention:
    Forget your people and your father’s house.
Let the king be enthralled by your beauty;
    honor him, for he is your lord.
The city of Tyre will come with a gift,
    people of wealth will seek your favor, Psalm 45

 In my previous life, the one I was 12 years a slave in marriage,  I had the same passions I have today. I loved photography, especially.  But my ex-husband used to mock me each time I asked him to take pictures. I would never have a picture of myself taken without being laughed at or being told what a ridiculous person I was. So I stopped asking for pictures.

 

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Tribute from Ghana from my brother-in-law who sees me the way God sees me

 

Today I have to say to my Boaz, ‘please stop taking pictures’. He carries the camera wherever we go and captures the most beautiful defining moments. Today my 8-year-old son also loves photography. He takes most of my pictures. My daughter too, she always has her phone out, taking selfies and videos of the family. We capture these beautiful moments because we are just happy.

 

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How my family in Ghana sees us

 

Today I do not have a husband who laughs at me when I have a picture taken.

When I look back at Zimbabwe I see nothing but rejection, pain and sorrow. As a result I have chosen to be the master of my destiny and made a decision to leave my people who always did nothing but pull me down.

 

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Touching tribute from Ghana

 

I was last in Zimbabwe in 2011, during my 6 weeks stay there, I remember saying to myself, ‘I will never come back to this country again. This is not my home. These are not my people.’

My heart was in the right place, because I never truly belonged there.  Even my children have nothing but grim memories of our last trip to Zimbabwe.

Last week, when we took our latest family pictures, my Boaz sent the  pictures to his family in Ghana. They were all beyond blessed with the pictures. They always say the most touching words to me. They love all my children as their blood.

But my eldest brother-in-law (my Boaz’s eldest brother) was especially moved by the family pictures.

He picked 5 of his favorite pictures, and made a touching tribute, sharing them on his status on his social media for the world to see. He said things which melted my heart. One was that as a mother I do all, and he also said I was the true definition of a woman.

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For me I consider this my first official tribute and recognition not only as a mother but as a woman too.

Where I was married before, never once was I acknowledged as a mother.

Each time I would give birth my children would be called derogatory names. I was constantly called a bad useless mother among other names.

I am finally home. Home is not necessarily a place where you come from, or where you have been told you belong. Home is where your heart is. That place where you feel a sense of acceptance and belonging.

So allow me when I say I am no longer a Zimbabwean.

I am a Ruth to a people who are not my people. Even though to them I am a foreign woman, they see me with the eyes God see me.  When I saw the tribute that my brother-in-law did for me, I cried. It meant a lot to me.

For me, as a woman of African origin, that place where I feel belonging is Ghana. The people have nothing but mad love for me. Even when they come to my house, my Ghanaian people shower me with so much love they make my ribs crack with laughter. For a woman who never used to laugh, I treasure their infectious sense of humour. Even Reggie n Bollie who are originally from Ghana said I was their sister.

Since the launch of Black British Entertainment Network (BBE) 3 weeks ago,  I have had mad support from Ghana. They just love and support my work. They see me as a Ruth, on the threshing floor.

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A Ghanaian British Instagram follower of BBE encourages his followers to suport BBE

Below Ghanian songstress Irene Logan endorses BBE

I see myself belonging to two of the most powerful empires in the world, Ghana and Great Britain.

My Boaz calls me his Ashanti Queen.

So when I say I am no longer Zimbabwean, understand where I am coming from. You don’t know the road I walked as a Zimbabwean woman.

 

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Touching tribute from Ghana

 

Ps: For the Zimbabweans who find my articles annoying and want me to stop writing, my advise is simple…stop reading.

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28 thoughts on “Why I am no longer Zimbabwean…

  1. I pray for you my sister that you have a prosperous life wherever you are. Thank God for what has been done to you. Wishing you all the best in your endeavors

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Will continue to read your stories. We mite not agree on somethings but to me you sound like a person who is really angry with yourself other than Zimbabwe and her people.

      Like

  2. As zimbabweans we never rejected you, go well but remember midzimu yeshiri iri mudendere. You have found love & a new home but you cannot severe your ties with us here. Uyo Rudo zvekuno zvakamumonera Bamkuru Boaz havafe vakazvigona unotuuya naaye kuno toreverera. Ukama haugezwe nesipo setsvina. Gara ende ufare mushe Ashanti Queen. Runonzi Rudooo!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t know the road you have travelled to get to where you are right now but obviously you sound a little bitter about something/someone originally from Zimbabwe. My thinking is you may not want to conclusively and permanently rubbish everything Zimbawean as they honour both where you are going (Ghana/UK) and also where you are coming from (Zimbabwe).

    Otherwise enjoy your life peacefully and quietly.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Got taken aback by the Title of your topic, but as I read I truely related, we must learn a lot from what your Ghanaian family is now doing, as Zim, citizens/culture first before we can bring religion because religion differs within individuals we must develop a culture which says muroora munhuwo, muroora anopererwa, muroora paagona ngatimurumbidze and not only wait for muroora kuti akanganiise then we make a noise………
    Another thing I learnt in SA, when you get into a taxi you greet people, there is aform of unity that comes with that, in Zim if you might try and greet someone they might look at you with those “do I know you eyes”, in essence let our culture uhold love and recognition, then we can live lovingly

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What good does greeting people in a taxi do if u live in a society that butchers it’s own women. In a nutshell no country is perfect,be it zim, SA or Ghana . Bad mouthing your country just because u were hurt by a handful of people got to be the greatest sign of ignorance.

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  5. Interesting ..fact that you took time to write and announce this betrays where your heart really is, we await the return, meanwhile adios and good luck.

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  6. The one thing that can never be disputed is how someone feels. If it is easier to be Ghanaian than Zimbabwean and you are fully connected, enjoy. However, identity has a way of staying even when being asked to leave.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. The greatest betrayals are those perpetrated by those closest to us. I am thankful that you have shared part of your journey like this. I know it will speak to someone and inspire them to be brave enough to walk their dreams out. I applaud your bravery in speaking and in moving past the obstacles of your past marriage. Your piece speaks to me as a Zimbabwean man growing distanced from his country. I can relate to some of your past. As a married man, I am convicted by the truth that I owe my own wife her own identity and that I must never make light of the things that matter to her. God’s very best to you and yours! Never mind the negative comments, people are people, what more can I say. Go well and go far, “Ruth.”

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  8. As long as you keep mentioning our Zimbabwe will read your stories but if you stay in your 🇬🇭 lane we won’t be bothered at all. You need mental health assessment that’s all I have for you

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    1. Miss,

      You say that all you have for Jean is that she needs a mental health assessment. Well, Jean has already told us in her letter to Febbie, if I recall well, that in fact she has had that assessment (where she talks about the paramedics being called in to assess her).

      And so, her mental health has been assessed, and she is fine.

      That means, in your own words, you have nothing more for her then. (?).

      Like

  9. Please shut up, no matter what passport you have or where you live you will always be Zimbabwean your British passport still says your place of birth your blood determines your citizenship just because you had a rough life doesn’t mean you can destroy a countries image you are what wrong with the world clearly white washed. Please never go back to Zimbabwe we wouldn’t even want you their and I live in the United Kingdom longer than you’ve set foot in the country and still love my Home people like you are confused cockroaches and need to get your head out your own back side at the end of the day if they decided to revoke your citizenship in the U.K. You’d be shipped back to the land you hate so much.
    This is your story fair play but please DO NOT Destory the image of my country, we did not fight for independence from the British for such bullshit you speak of now.
    Not only that that place you call home they don’t even deep down regard you as your own look at America killing people like ourselves and getting away with it even here with the likes Of Damilolah Taylor, your an embarrassment to your race and country.
    Zimbabwe is NOT perfect is has a long way to grow and go but it’s my home and YOUR HOME don’t knock your braincells in half and ever forget that FADZAI, you still speak Shona and have a Shona name so go to deed poll and change that too if that’s your choice.
    A fully disgraced Sister!!!

    Good day

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    1. Disgraced Zimbabwean,

      You conflate a lot of issues, yet with very little or no sound logical argument at all. No amount of anger, emotion and passion would make a good substitution for reasoning. To try and unpick some of the issues you have alluded to in your rather wild and at times incoherent rumblings:

      1. On citizenship you are plain wrong. One’s place of birth or their blood (as you put it) does not confer irrevocable citizenship. One can change their citizenship to that of their choice, provided the new country accepts their application. And so, there is no nicer way to say it, than simply to say you are plain wrong on that.

      2. You sound both confused and confusing. You seem to be, on one hand livid that Jean has chosen not to be Zimbabwean any more, and on the other, you ask her (with sarcastic politeness ofcourse) to never go back to Zimbabwe. And just to further demonstrate the twisted paradox in your position, on the same breath you boast of having lived in the UK longer than Jean. You are effectively evicting her from a country that you yourself by your own admision/boasting you left before she did! If you love Zimbabwe that much, one would expect you to either have not left in the first place, or to have gone back by now, at the least. You then seem to habour some fear of your own, that one day you may be ‘shipped back’ to Zimbabwe.

      3. You then talk about fighting for independance from the British. Yes, we (Jean included) did fight for our independance. However, that was only political independance (if yu could call it that). The reason you, I, Jean, and many others are out of Zimbabwe now, most of us having followed the same British that we fought, to their country (!) is because we as yet do not have economic independance. And also, Jean is here fighting for her social independance. She is right to do so, for herself and her children. She is in the trenches. Noone will fight the fight for her. Only Jean can free Jean from these painful sociatal chains and prison walls. And as such, do not distract her with your talk of the fight for political independance from 37yrs ago. Its outdated, irrelevant and out of context. You are talking about a wrong war.

      4. Its not too clear what you are referring to when you talk about America killing people like ourselves and getting away with it. Who /which killings are you referring to here? You then mention the Damilola Taylor case, unclear what rationale you are seeking to extract from that either. I’m not sure though if you are aware that Damilola Taylor was, in fact, killed by 2 black boys, who are brothers, of Carribean discent, who apparently had poor parenting from their mother! An example of possible outcomes of bad parenting right there, then.

      5. You seem to feel a sence of ownership of Jean’s Shona name (a sence that was also expressed by her sibling regarding her surname) as well as the Shona language. You do not. She is free to have a name of her choice (read her short poem about her name and you will appreciate that), to speak a language of her choice, and be a nationality/citizen of a country of her choice. Its allowed. Thats wat happens the world over. People do not hand back their names and language when they change citizenship.

      Given the irationality of your anger, could it be that, in fact, you are not angry with Jean, but rather you are angry with yourself. Could it be that you are just an angry person, but you are throwing all these insults to Jean because she is something of an “easy target”? That sounds like a mindset of an abuser, doesn’t it?

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  10. You have made a good move my dear sister. Your heart is the best prophet. Dont worry about those who are insultimg you, they can only imagim what you went through but in reality they will never know. Even yr ex husband will never know how you felt at that time upto now. He can only imagine.Being Zimbabwean or Ghananian its yr choice. Leave yr life to ots fullest. I thamk God for yr Boaz you need someone wjo shows love not someone who mary just because he is at the age of marrying. Rubbish

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  11. Pfutseke iwe.first know family planning.5 children with 3 different man.urimbwa.killing chicken traumatised u?asi you don’t eat chicken?thats why you look like a man.imbwa yemunhu.leave zimbabwe alone and respect your mother

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    1. Totally not called for. It’s her choice and no need to insult her at all. Disagree and state your case. What do her kids or number of kids have anything to do with you. Stick to the topic. You need help. She identified her issues and is resolving them best way she knows how and you need help. Tarisa how a stranger pushed you to type all this and in anger.

      Like

    1. Hendricks,,

      K’o?, kusviba kwemurume wake what does that have to do with anything? I really think you have a long way to go, and certainly a lot to learn in life, not least from Jean herself (I recommend you read her blog entry on everyone wanting a light skinned baby).

      What is there to be gained by sviba’ring or not sviba’ring kwemunhu? Please explain, not necesarily to anyone else in particular, but at least to yourself – and see if you can look yourself in the mirror and keep a straight face when explaining that. You owe it to yourself. Good luck.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I hope you have truly found happiness in this life as by all your accounts you seem to have had it rough in the past, I do not always agree with some of your insights, but I perceive that a balanced person will always see both sides or point of views and respect that this is where the other person is at . On the subject of decrying all things Zimbabwean, I can see your point of view certainly where you are coming from and it is a place of pain that is clearly evident and I’m sorry one woman to another for the pain you have experienced. But is it not Zimbabwe that has given you the education that makes you able to eloquently put your views out there?, is it not Zimbabwe that you were born into and nurtured your life and health until you were able to leave its borders? you have experienced the good the bad and ugly as a Zimbabwean as have millions of women of different nationalities who haven’t been blessed with the opportunity of a platform to share their story like you. Your experiences are not a legacy you can run from Jean, rather they are a platform on which you should articulate your journey without fear or shame and in so doing embolden others out there living in fear and shrouds of shame.
    Though you eloquently draw a biblical parallel of your journey with Ruth from the bible and how she left her people, let me humbly remind you too that Christ was sent to his own and they recieved him not, but thousands of years later He still identifies as Jesus the Nazareen, He never once rejected his nationality/lineage because of the rejection and persecution that He suffered at the hands of his own people and I believe as a Christian you will agree with me that Christ calls us to take up his cross thus sharing in his suffering. Nowadays people seem to expect the bonafide Christian experience to be one without trial and tribulation, yet this is so far from the truth and by saying this i am in no way condoning the abuse that you have experienced at all. So my dear decrying Zimbabwe, the people, the culture, your mother, will not erase the difficult parts of the journey that have made you who you are today gave given you a powerful voice, own those experiences as a Strong Zimbabwean woman who against the odds overcame, own it because by not doing so it controls you and you are not master of it. As for those ungodly who seek to shame you, name call and utter all sorts of obscenity, pray for them and pray for God to give you wisdom when you write and share so that your writings share the very heart of God and are not coming from a place of hurt, fear, condemnation and rejection which is what the naysayers are rising to. Do not respond to persons who want to piggy back to fame at your expense by disparaging the positive things you are trying to achieve, they do not even deserve two lines or three words ‘take a seat’ rise above that if you want to speak that which will empower others let your voice or pen cater to that only as for the peanut gallery let God respond on your behalf, and see his mighty hand @ work, God has not given us the spirit of timidity or fear but that of power and of love and of a sound mind 2 Tim 1:7 be and stay blessed IJMN.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lola,,

      Whether one agrees with you or not, it is quiet refreshing to read a well argued point of view, without the insults and name calling that others are degenerating to. Thank you.

      However, as regarding Jesus and his attitude towards his lineage, he seems to at times not valued it ‘at all costs’. Considering:

      1. In Luke 2, at age of 12yrs old or so, when he stayed behind at the temple. When his blood family looked for him and found him, he says to them that they shouldn’t have looked for him as he had to do his father’s bussiness.
      Looks like his father’s business took priority.

      2. In Luke 8, when Jesus is informed that his family were outside looking for him, his response is to say his mother and brothers are those who listen to his teachings and put them to practice.
      Again, Jesus does not seem to be prioritising his familial lineage above all else.

      Looks like even Jesus had to strike a balance, between obviously loving and appreciating his familial lineage and heritage on one hand, and his desiny and future on the other, and at times his destiny and future took presidence.

      Jean, too, seems to be striking her own balance quiet well.

      Like

  13. Difficult to comment on a personal issue but to insult your country of both birth and descent is something l would not personally admire at all

    Like

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