I love being a blended family. I’ve learnt unconditional love at its highest. I’ve learnt that water is purer than blood. I’ve learnt that a man can be a sperm donor, but a father is the one who loves and provides, just like my Boaz loves and provides for all my children.
Last weekend, we received a surprise from above. My King took us for a mini break, and it was as though we flew abroad, everything was such a breath of fresh air and the children had an amazing time, they didn’t want to come back home.
Honestly my life is a testament of the beauty of having a blended family, my children have been restored in a way I never thought they would.
But when you are in a blended family, you always have to look back over your shoulder, especially if you came from a toxic relationship/marriage. I have an ex-husband who would want me dead, literally. I have to always look back and make sure sure my children and I are safe. I always tell my husband I need a bodyguard, even for going into town.
Anyway, so we come back from our dream mini break, everything was just perfect, we were all on cloud 9, until a letter came in the post, and it was literally confirming that this man I used to be married to still stalks me one way or another.
The letter was from child maintenance, claiming that I had been recently contacting them asking them to pass my personal details, including home address to my ex-husband. So they sent me a form to fill in my home address, phone number and email address and my signature, that I was consenting to having my details passed on to my ex-husband.
I am like, ummm but I haven’t contacted child maintenance with such a request. I haven’t spoken to them in years. So I called them to ask why I had received a letter asking for my consent and personal details to be passed over to my psycho ex-husband. And child maintenance was like, you did contact us to send your personal details to your ex-husband. I told them I did no such thing, and they told me not to fill any forms or sign anything.
So this man actually contacted child maintenance, using someone more likely, pretending to be me, and asked to have my personal details (home address, email and phone number) sent to him. Is this not the creepiest thing ever?
He is not even allowed by the courts to come anywhere near my home address or my children. I thank God I have my King who protects me from this psychopath. If I was a single mother, God knows I will living in terror everyday of my life.
I don’t really understand why this man always wants my home address, but what I know is he always wants to know where I live. When my Boaz bought me a house last year, I had to take measures that this creepy man does not find out where I live, that’s why I hardly post pictures of my full house.
The scariest thing I had to deal with was when I was still a single mother, my King was still in Ghana, and one day I went to the salon, and as I came home I received an anonymous message on my blog which said something like, “I saw you in the salon, what a disgusting hairstyle you have.” The person went on to say things I knew were only from my ex-husband. Then that very night as I was up in the lounge watching TV, I received another comment on my blog saying, “Look at you alone sitting in your house, go to bed and…..”. He wrote some very disturbing things he had even been saying in court as he tried to take my children away from me, so I knew it was him and called the police. I had that feeling that someone outside was watching me, as a single mother I was scared. But I was blessed that the police believed me and knew it was him, and dealt with the issue. But the police can’t always protect you from a stalker.
I remember watching an episode of Real Housewives Of Atlanta a few months ago where Eva Marcille was accused of being homeless and broke by her filthy rich co-stars, because she didn’t have a permanent home address. She got very emotional and tried to explain that her ex-partner always finds her address and always stalks her, so she can’t have a permanent base. This is very hard for people who have never been in such a situation to understand. Like me, she has a beautiful blended family and a husband who adores her, but sadly she has to always watch her back because she has a stalker ex. These people can actually be very dangerous.
I could never do this co-parenting stuff, its not for me. I could never cope with that, always seeing the man who hated me and wished me death. Him coming to my house to pick my children as if everything is normal, nah, that’s not my portion. How can a man who hates you love your children, to me that’s impossible. My heart bleeds for every woman who is forced to see and interact with a man who once made her life hell, even if its in the name of co-parenting.
One thing I am grateful to God for is that this man does not have any contact with my children at all. All the children and I believe we should never see his face again, and the God of Israel has made sure of that.
I can say with my forefather David…
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death…
I will fear no evil, for thou art with me…
He prepares a table for me, in the presence of my enemies…
He anoints my head with oil, my cup runneth over…
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life…
So even though I have a psycho always trying to get my home address, I have my bodyguard, my protector, my King who always has my back.
The Genesis Of The Revelation By
Mary-Tamar was Jean