According to Zimbabwe, or rather its culture, I was abused by way too many people. I was abused by my previous pastor, the church community, my ex-husband, my ex-sisters in law, my ex-mother in law, and now recently I wrote about the pain of my childhood in the hands of my mother.
Zimbabwe as a country can not seem to get its head around this mystery. To them its something unheard of, in the entire nation. As my name is plastered all over Zimbabwe social media, I am accused of attention seeking among other things. I am being advised by Zimbabwe’s experts on ‘psychology’ that its time to look at myself in the mirror, because none of my abusers was wrong, apparently it was all my fault. I have even been given several diagnoses by so many ‘experts’. No one can get abused so many times, they say. It’s not normal.
Zimbabwe is angry at me, if there was a law for women like me, they would have had my head on a spike by sunset today.
Zimbabwe as a country claims to have the most educated people in Africa, though they are the most ignorant people in Africa when it comes to one topic, ABUSE.
Africa is a troubled continent, most African countries seem to have something they fall short on, a culture that somehow oppresses its people, especially women.
Women who fight against girl child abuse will also be abused, that’s why it’s not easy to totally eradicate practices like female genital mutilation etc. They are men and women who will fight tooth and nail to protect such atrocities.
Until recently Malawi had a culture of young girls being raped in the name of sexual training until it took a BBC documentary to expose the rotten culture of an entire nation that the people in the country were not blinking an eye to.
Zimbabwe generally has a culture of emotional abuse against women and the girl child. The people of Zimbabwe seems to be very uneducated and ignorant on what abuse actually is. This is clearly displayed even on Zimbabwe’s social media, where Zimbabwean Facebook personalities who are supposed to be positive role models for Zimbabwe are the ones who are normally the perpetrators of abuse. To show the extent of how Zimbabwe is ignorant on this matter, and how abuse thrives in the Zimbabwean communities, the abusers are often rewarded by some Zim awards.
Zimbabwe does not also understand what the word CULTURE means. Most are claiming there is no such thing as Zimbabwean culture. They do not know that culture is just beliefes or practices that separate one group of people from the other and is regarded as the norm. It doesn’t have to be written in a book to be considered a culture, it is just how certain people behave and it affects the society, positively or negatively.
Now if Zimbabwe’s social media is even a perfect example of how abuse is a culture in Zimbabwe, how much more what is happening on the ground, where there are no phones or social media. My heart bleeds for that girl child or woman, who stands alone and has no one to turn to. It is clear Zimbabwe’s culture protects the abusers, not the victims.
Today my name is all over Zimbabwe’s social media, and my crime is simply being abused by too many people and daring to write about it. Because of this, more abuse is being heaped upon me.
Zimbabwe still has a long way to go when it comes to freedom of girls and women raising their voices. The women themselves will go to extreme lengths to silence anyone who challenges the culture. They love to call evil good and good evil. They have a pack mentality, they operate like wolves, scavengers. They love to single out victims and will attack without mercy. The people who will be leading the scavenging are the popular Facebook personalities with a lot of followers.
What Zimbabwe does not know about abuse is that abused people attract abusers. It’s always a pattern in people who had troubled childhoods. This theory has been studied and proved by trained professionals world wide. It’s not even rocket science. Even google will readily give you this information. For a people who claim to be the most educated in Africa, Zimbabwe seems totally ignorant of this very common knowledge, hence abuse thrives.
The mystery to the Jean Gasho story is not a mystery at all, but Zimbabwe is up in arms asking me why everyone ‘abused’ me.
I was never loved as a child. I was a loner. Troubled and somewhat traumatised. So I was always looking for love. I yearned to be loved. Abused people are very naive. Abusers are quick to spot people like that. Abused people give out certain signals of desperation for love and acceptance, almost like a lost puppy. That is the mystery Zimbabwe can not solve. Rather the whole county will throw more stones on people who give out the signals that they were abused.
I was abused by my previous husband because I thought I was unlovable and he had done me a favour by marrying me. I was abused by my ex-mother in law because she saw that I had no protection from my family. I was abused by my ex-sisters-in-law because they simply could, their mother gave them the go ahead and I was an easy target for them. I could not stand up for myself. I ended up in the hands of a very abusive ‘prophet’ whom I thought was the most loving man on earth just because he told me how much he loved me and hugged me and pretended to understand me. It was a pattern in my life, always ending up with the wrong people. I was a magnet for abuse.
If someone showed me any attention or ‘love’, I would think they were the best thing ever.
This is something Zimbabwe refuses to understand. Abuse is rife in this country. Women today are even defending abusive mothers, claiming they were all called ugly amongst other derogatory names by their mothers. They are saying this is Zimbabwe culture, and no one should stand up to denounce it. They will quote old Zimbabwean proverbs and bible verses to threaten anyone who speaks against the culture of psychological abuse.
The bible has done more damage in Zimbabwe than good. It’s a tool used to threaten the girl child and keep her in bondage.
So should women who end up with abusive partners/husbands because they lacked fathers love be accused of being abused twice? Is it their fault that they end up in abusive relationships?
Now that I have finally broken the cycle and horrid chain of abuse in my life, Zimbabwe attacks me for that. Yes, of course, I was abused by a lot of people in my life, I was a magnet for abuse.
One wonders whether Zimbabwe has any leading professional psychologists to educate the country on their own culture, ABUSE.
And when I say ZIMBABWE, obviously I do not mean every single Zimbabwean, I simply mean the majority.
Shocking as it is, Zimbabwe is a country that breeds emotional and psychological abuse of the girl child.