A blessed new week to my beautiful readers, I hope you have enjoyed my Polygamy novel Jacob’s Trouble so far. There will be one more Chapter (Chapter 5) to go on my blog next Sunday then after that you have to wait for the book in print…the book has 30 Chapters. It’s a thrilling thought provoking Erotic apocalyptic story of 7 women who fall in love with one man, Jacob Moor.
If you have missed the first three chapters, you can read them here…
In the meantime, enjoy the journey of my fourth character, Celeste who is married to Jacob Moor’s best friend Andrew. As a woman who has been married twice, I can totally relate to Celeste as I was once married to a Zimbabwean man who denied me sex and when he did give me sex, he was very bad at it…I was a sexually starved and unsatisfied Zimbabwean wife for 12 years…The worst thing was not only was the marriage sexless, but the marriage was also marred with financial poverty as well as spiritual and emotional abuse.
So I hope my readers understand the character of Celeste, and judge her not…for many married women out there are in her exact shoes…
Chapter 4. Celeste
“Thank you Celeste for taking the time to do this, I know you are very busy with your gardening. But I felt it was important for you come in after Faith.” Deborah said.
“I understand. The boys are just disappointed, today we had a lot planned on the farm. I do spend most of my time with the boys outside.”
“How are your boys? How have they taken to this setup and the change that happened in their lives?”
“It’s been very hard, but they are in a much better place today, they know God has been good to them, this place is literally heaven to them.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to ask questions. Just start whenever you are ready, it’s your story. From what I have gathered, especially from the debates and comments on social media, a lot of women do relate to you Celeste, not only about your loss, but your journey as a single mother in these very trying times. I want to know when it all began for you, your journey to Jacob’s Kingdom.”
I forgot about the camera crew in front of me, or Deborah, who was looking at me with a notebook and a pen in her hand. I didn’t care I had a microphone on my dress. I looked down at my hands, my nails were still muddy from the gardening I had done that morning. Rubbing my hands looking down I began to speak. The night became so vivid in my head. So I begun.
When we came back from the disaster dinner date from the Moors, before we got into the house, my husband had asked to use my phone to text Jacob to apologise for how the night had ended as his phone battery had died and his charger had been broken. He texted Jacob then he carried our sleeping boys into the house. He then carried me into our bedroom because out of shame, I was pretending to have hurt my leg. I looked at him as he sat me on the bed, and felt angry with him for not being the husband I always wanted him to be.
“I’m so jealous Andrew, can you believe Faith is pregnant. Again.” I said to him as he tucked me in bed, after he had gently undressed me and put me in my nighty as though I was some little old lady in a nursing home. Our couple’s date night at the Moors had ended in a disgrace on my part after I had I fallen face flat in Faith’s kitchen, in front of her husband, literally. It was one of the most humiliating incidents of my life. I shut my eyes trying to block the humiliation I had faced at the Moors and continued speaking to my husband.
“Why does she have to have all the good things in life?” For that minute it was a genuine question which was coming from the bottom of my heart. I really wanted an answer to that. Just looking around my little bedroom, I thought of Faith’s grand master bedroom in her detached four bedroom house in the posh village of Woolton. Her bedroom was huge, with a dressing room and en-suite full bathroom. My bedroom couldn’t even fit a king size bed. Her girls had their own bedrooms, and our boys shared a tiny box bedroom that could only about fit a bunk bed.
“No she doesn’t. You had a wedding, she hasn’t had one and will never have one. Jacob is so against having a wedding with her. You have sons, two, she doesn’t. Jacob doesn’t hide the fact that he wants a son. Faith doesn’t have it all, I don’t know where you get that idea from.” That was the best Andrew could come up with against Faith.
“Our wedding wasn’t exactly the wedding of the year Andrew, it was in a run down community hall and the food alone was a disaster. Don’t get me started on your friends who fought and made our reception a joke. I have nothing on Faith. Nothing. And she’s convinced she’s having a boy, so she will eventually have it all! That’s exactly the point I’m making, she’s pregnant Andrew.”
“Ok, what do you want me to say? Congratulations to them, you should be happy for her. She’s your best friend after all isn’t she?”
“You know she’s not my best friend, she has a very different life to mine and thanks to your strange friendship with her husband, we are forced to be friends! Now Faith getting pregnant has reminded me again what I desperately want yet you won’t give it to me!”
“You have two healthy boys you should be grateful for Celeste. There is no guarantee you will have a girl if you have another one.” Andrew stood up and started wriggling between the side of the bed and the wall to get to the bottom of the room. It always annoyed me when he did that. He looked silly, and each time he did that I was reminded of his poverty. Our poverty.
“Why don’t you just jump over the bed instead of wriggling round it like a worm. Gosh Andrew, is this even meant to a bedroom or it’s an office?” I shouted at him.
“You are shouting at me right now because you are angry with the conditions we live in, so why on earth do you want to bring a baby into this “poverty” as you call it? Stop comparing your life with Faith, she can afford to have another baby, you can’t. Accept that reality.” He started undressing at the other side of the room.
“We already have two children, what difference will another one make? Andrew maybe Faith falling pregnant is a positive sign for us that God is telling us to start trying.” Andrew was standing there in his underwear, folding his clothes, trying his best to ignore what I had just said. He slid his folded jeans and t-shirt in the wardrobe chest. The drawers of the wardrobe chest had broken and come off, so the clothes would be hanging off them. I watched my husband pull out a pair of boxer shorts from the pile of clothes in one of the broken chest of drawer. I didn’t want him to put the boxer shorts on. I wanted to seize the moment so I got up and climbed down the bed. I grabbed the boxer shorts from Andrew and started kissing him. He was startled when I put my hand in his underwear and started stroking his soft manhood. I was ready to conceive that very minute. I told myself that Faith was not going to beat me with her pregnancy. I didn’t have the wealth she had but like her I had the man and a fully functioning womb.
“I thought you had hurt your knee Celeste.” Andrew said, pulling himself from my embrace. He snapped my hand off his underwear, unable to hide his disappointment in me.
“So I exaggerated. There you have it. So what? You wanted me to stay there and face Faith who was bragging about her pregnancy and Jacob who saw me make a complete fool of myself in front of him. I’ve never felt so humiliated all my life.” I sat on the bed with my hands in my face. “Andrew please just make me feel good after the shame I’ve endured tonight. Please let’s make a baby tonight.” I begged my husband, kneeling before him.
“No. I’m not having another baby because Jacob got his wife pregnant.” Andrew picked up his boxer shorts from the floor and put them on as his way of making it clear to me that he didn’t want to have sex with me.
“But I’ve been talking about wanting another baby for over a year. Why are you making it like suddenly I want a baby because Faith is pregnant?”
“Because you have been talking about Faith ever since we got home! And you expect me to have an erection when all you ever talk about is what Jacob does for Faith.” Andrew opened the door to leave the room.
“I talk about what Jacob does for Faith because he takes good care of his wife and children! I want a better life for myself Andrew. I want a bigger house, a big yard to do my gardening, a nicer car! I want a husband who can provide for me, and give me the things I desire! Just the basic things of life. Is that too much to ask?”
“No! You want everything Faith has Celeste, that’s the fucken problem!”
“That’s not fair. Now you just want an excuse not to sleep with me tonight, like you do all the time. When was the last time you touched me Andrew? Am I not beautiful enough for you? And yes Jacob is a far better husband to Faith because at least he sleeps with her enough to get her pregnant!”
“Listen to yourself speak about another man to your own husband! Is that why you were in his arms when I walked into that kitchen? If only you knew who Jacob really is, you wouldn’t be drooling over him like you do! How exactly did you conveniently ‘fall’ in front of Jacob tonight?”
“Why are you best friends with him then if you can’t even trust him to help me up when I fall? So now you want to bring your own insecurities on me by blaming me for accidentally falling in front of Jacob when Faith was there and saw everything. Jacob is not a cheat, get that into your thick head Andrew.”
“How do you know that Jacob’s not a cheat?” He was almost laughing.
“He worships the ground Faith walks on for starters, unlike some. Duh.”
“Then go and be Jacob’s wife, foolish woman! Then you will be happy!” Andrew grabbed his robe from behind the door hook and walked out of our bedroom. I knew he was going to sleep in the living room. He had gotten another perfect excuse.
“Yeah walk away from your marriage bed, you coward! Maybe I will ask Faith’s husband to come and do your job for you! Useless husband!” I screamed. I didn’t care if he heard me or not, I just wanted to say it out loud. Jacob had picked me up from the floor, he had seen my thighs and underwear yet he remained a perfect gentleman. Now I was alone in my bedroom, about to spend another long lonely night, whilst my husband would be sleeping in the living room.
As I lay on the bed I burst into tears, something happened to me that night. I found myself longing for Jacob, I felt like he was the kind of man who would wipe my tears and hold me in his arms. He was not the kind of man who would walk away from Faith to sleep on the sofa.
I took my phone and checked my messages. Faith had just sent me a message.
“Hope you got home okay and you feeling better. Sorry to ask but did you just text Jacob?” Faith had asked, with a smiley emojie at the end and two hearts. I felt better knowing someone out there actually cared about me, even though the question about the text was odd. I needed someone to talk to, so I replied her.
“I’m okay, thank you for checking up on me. I’m sorry if I didn’t sound happy for you. I really am. Congratulations. And by the way it was Andrew who used my phone to text Jacob because his was dead.” I felt annoyed that I had to explain the text Andrew had sent to Jacob. Did she not feel comfortable me ever texting Jacob?
“Oh its okay, I was just wondering. Anyway, thank you hun. It was a lot to process I understand. Anyway you won’t believe it, Jacob and I are going to get married at the registrar, he asked me to pick the date, and I want you to be my maid of honour, well you will be more like a witness because it will be a very small simple do. Jacob doesn’t want a fuss.”
“Sure, just let me know in advance when you book the date.” I replied her. I couldn’t help but feel crushed, how was it that everything was going so well for her, and my life was going in the opposite direction.
“Jacob wants Andrew as his best men too, so I’m sure you guys will be well informed. So excited x”
Even though I was so jealous of Faith, I felt like letting go of my pride and just being real with her. Sometimes I couldn’t help but share my pain with her. She was a good listener and comforter, but I always found myself regretting telling her my problems. Part of me felt like she gloated at my pain, but she never showed it, because she always carried herself like she was perfect.
“You are so lucky Faith, you have a husband who adores you. Please pray for my marriage because I’m having so many problems with Andrew and it’s getting worse.”
“Aww what’s happening babe? Do you wanna talk?” She quickly replied me.
“It’s everything Faith, Andrew hasn’t slept with me for over a month. You know I want another baby but it’s impossible to get pregnant by a husband who doesn’t even touch you.”
“Oh Celeste, I hope it’s not because I told you I’m pregnant. You didn’t mention it to him did you? Maybe he will feel like you are comparing your life to mine and you know men don’t like that. Besides I did tell you to keep the news to yourself because it’s early days. Jacob won’t be happy to find out I told you.”
“Well sorry I told him Faith, but he’s my husband. Why are you suddenly acting like now I want a baby because you are pregnant?”
“I didn’t say that Celeste, I just don’t want you giving the impression to your own husband that you are comparing my life to yours, that’s all.”
I couldn’t bring myself to reply her. So she continued typing.
“Babe I’m not judging you, I’m just trying to help. Stop being worried about getting pregnant maybe that’s what’s driving Andrew away. Focus on strengthening your marriage and being a submissive wife and God will do the rest. God has been revealing to me that it’s our job to submit to our husbands, then God will change them.” On her high horse, Faith was typing to me, lecturing me on how to be a good wife and how to submit and all that nonsense. I chose not to reply her again.
“Do you want to come with me to church tomorrow? Pastor George will be preaching, he’s an American pastor and he specializes on marriages, maybe you can speak to him. It will do you a lot of good.” She went on.
At this point I left the conversation. Now she was on my husband’s side, preaching to me about submission. As always I was already regretting opening up to her. She really saw herself as the blessed of God , the one who had it all from a perfect husband to a perfect life.
Deep inside I couldn’t hide how much I envied her. My envy of her was eating me up more than the pain I felt with Andrew. I went on her Social Media profile. She called herself Faith Moor. She described herself as wife to a King and mother to three melanin princesses. I went down to her latest post which was a selfie of Jacob and her kissing. After the kissing selfie was pictures of Jacob pushing their daughters on the swing. I zoomed the picture of him and his girls. I zoomed into his face. He didn’t look his thirty-seven years, he looked at least thirty.
He was truly a beautiful man to behold, tall dark and well built. The sun on his face and the joy he had as he pushed his giggling daughter on the swing made his eyes squint. I zoomed into his face again. I studied his lips for a while, they were thick and full, just how I liked them on a man. I could tell he was in a roar of laughter, everything about him was natural, he was not posing for the picture which was obviously taken by Faith. His strong bearded jawline and chin had the most perfect shape. His features were seriously strong and defined yet they could be so soft and warm. Tonight I had just had a tester of his strength and tenderness when he had pulled me from his kitchen floor. Maybe if his wife wasn’t there, we would have had a moment.
I wondered what it would feel like to kiss Jacob Moor. I wondered what his strong hold would feel like. His real hold, in his arms, not just holding my shoulders as he had done when I stood up from the fall, trying to gain my balance back. I zoomed into his arms. I wanted to behold the strength of his hands as I imagined what his hold would be like. His arms and biceps looked a result hardwork and dedication at the gym. Faith always mentioned Jacob being in the gym all the time. Andrew wasn’t much of a gym person. For a moment I imagined Jacob in the gym, sweating and lifting weights.
In the photo Faith had recently posted, Jacob wore a grey T-shirt and jeans. He looked so well groomed even in the simplest clothes. I could imagine the abs he was hiding under his T-shirt. I couldn’t help but undress him with my eyes as I looked at his picture. I wondered how endowed he was, was it thick was it long. I wondered about the shape of his buttocks and legs.
I could feel myself getting wet. Slowly I slid my hand between my legs.
“Stop it Celeste. Stop. You are a married woman!” I whispered to myself. But I couldn’t help it.
I closed my eyes, and I saw Jacob.
“Oh Jacob,” I whispered. It was disgraceful, but it felt so right as I said his name.
I imagined him as I spread my legs so wide; I imagined my hand was Jacob’s. I felt him rubbing me so fast. It was the most beautiful feeling, I felt Jacob in the depth of my being. I surrendered to him without any shame or guilt.
I was Jacob’s, and he was mine, at least for this moment. I tried not to scream, I could only moan. It was short, but it took all the energy from me. Exhausted, I turned and took my phone from the pillow and I almost fainted as I read the words from Jacob he had just texted, replying my husband.
“Its fine, don’t worry about the night. Just look after wifey, and we can do the dinner again when she’s better.” I read the text over and over again. Somehow he had made my problems disappear, especially reading the words he had written about me. He did care about me, he had instructed my selfish useless pathetic husband to take care of me, but little did he know that I was alone in bed. I felt consoled by his words to Andrew, so much they made my envy of Faith bearable. Tired I yawned and sighed, as a hint of shame crept into my mind. I closed my eyes, and it was Jacob I dreamt of.
Written by Mary-Tamar was Jean Gasho