Why I Feel Blessed My Husband No Longer Shares A Bed With Me

Yes, it feels really weird not to share a bed with my King every night, but I am so blessed to have my own humble chamber. I started planning this arrangement the moment I fell pregnant.

So 3 weeks ago today, on the first of August, exactly on my birthday, I gave birth to my 7th child, a beautiful daughter called Chaniya. Ama Chaniya Offeh. Because she was born on a Sabbath, her Ashanti name is Ama, which means born on a Saturday, a day of rest. And because she is a Hebrew baby, with African history, we named her Chaniya, a name which is both Hebrew and African (Swahili). In Hebrew Chaniya means “A place of rest, to rest” which is truly symbolic to her because she was born on a Sabbath, and her name in Hebrew also means “to be happy” and she’s the happiest smiling baby I have ever had. In Swahili, Chaniya means to be wealthy, and I will sure do another blog about that.

Chaniya’s birth was certainly prophetic, and as her name means, I wanted her rest, happiness and wealth to manifest in my own life. Her being my 7th child, I wanted to do things differently to what I have done with my other children. I wanted the mood and spirit surrounding her birth to be different.

Firstly, my due date was the 8th of August, and I prayed throughout my pregnancy that a miracle would happen and she would be born on my birthday, 1 August. The Most High loves me so, He actually answered my prayer, and behold Chaniya chose to come on my birthday.

So we moved into our house before the plague, and it was so wretched and needed a complete renovation, and after we rented out the Love Den, I needed a new Love Den. I was excited because I wanted a project, and the children and I spent lockdown, painting, decorating and renovating the house. What I wanted was my own little bedroom for me and Chaniya, where my King would only visit but not sleep in. I wanted to nurse Chaniya in complete peace and tranquility, away from the noise and busyness of my other 6 children.

My gracious King granted me this request.

I am no believer in spending thousands of pounds on baby nurseries, none of my 7 children has ever had a nursery. I believe the best nursery for a newborn baby is their mother’s arms and their mother’s breasts. I am a strong believer in attachment parenting. Attachment parenting (AP) is a parenting philosophy that proposes methods aiming to promote the attachment of parent and infant not only by maximal parental empathy and responsiveness but also by continuous bodily closeness and touch. This type of parenting is shunned in the western world, but attachment parenting as known today, is simply being a mother and is how Hebrew women nursed their babies.

I would never put my baby down in another room and go to sleep in another. A newborn needs their mother’s warmth and security, that is their nursery.

Chaniya’s nursery is her mother’s bosom and bedchamber.

So for me and Chaniya, all we have is our cosy little bed, wide enough for the two of us, and our TV for Netflix and relaxing music.

I spend all mornings and afternoons in bed with Chaniya. Sometimes I hardly get to see my two-year-old son, I could never nurse them both at the same time. God has blessed me because right now I’m nursing my 7th baby as if she’s my only child. It’s weird because when I am with her, I don’t even feel like I have seven children.

I get to enjoy being served beautiful food in bed.

I can enjoy my peace as I go through my 66 days of purification according to Leviticus 12.

“If a woman gives birth to a daughter, for two weeks the woman will be unclean, as during her period. Then she must wait sixty-six days to be purified from her bleeding. These are the regulations for the woman who gives birth to a boy or a girl. “

My 16-year-old daughter whom I named Nakai which means to beautify, lives up to her name and has bought me the most calming and soothing relaxing bath soaps, and all sorts of fancy bath bombs and bath cakes, oh the level of vanity in this world we live in today, but I love it all. And I’m currently reading Finding Freedom, Harry and Meghan Markle’s supposed unofficial autobiography, which is very juicy and entertaining, just the book I needed for afterbirth relaxing, but the only time I get to have a good read is when I’m in the bath, but yeah can’t wait to review the book when I finally finish it.

As for me and the King no longer sharing a bed, I am so happy that I have my own quirky little chamber with my Chaniya. This is the beauty of polygamy, as a woman, sometimes you just need your own space and peace. The King is not confined to have his needs met by only one woman, he doesn’t have to pressure me after childbirth, he leaves me alone to recover and get back to normal, and completely bath and purify myself for him, so when I finally go to him my beauty will be worthy of his majesty.

And I took the pencil portrait I drew of the King and put it in my chamber, so Chaniya and I get to feel his anointing and presence all the time, in a minimalist calming natural environment.

And yesterday when I sent him the pictures I took, he was so excited…

He went on to tell me that I was the most beautiful of his wives…and he said this will make the concubines jealous as he put the picture as his profile photo.

And I was reminded of the scripture God gave me when I first met my Boaz 6 years ago…

“Listen, O daughter,
Consider and incline your ear;
Forget your own people also, and your father’s house;
So the King will greatly desire your beauty;
Because He is your Lord, worship Him.
And the daughter of Tyre will come with a gift;
The rich among the people will seek your favor.” Psalm 45.

So even though I am not sharing a bed chamber with my King, his love and favour is always with me.

He continually says to me, “Many daughters have done well, but you surpass them all…”

The Genesis Of The Revelation by

Mary-Tamar was Jean

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