So a woman called Moira Knight, has broken the Zimbabwean internet today by exposing her husband, a Zimbabwean dance-hall artist called Seh Calaz, that 1) he’s a dead beat father, 2) he lives in a rented house, 3) he’s being evicted from the rented house, 4) he’s a substance abuser, and 5) he’s so broke that he can’t even afford to buy furniture (then she went as far as to post the sofa, a wretched dirty old sofa in their matrimonial house) on social media in a bid to embarrass her husband whom she says likes to keep up appearances and taking photos but in reality he makes nothing from the music and is living in poverty.
Ok, unless there is more that happened behind the scenes that Moira didn’t share, like she was beaten up or abused, which I doubt, then I consider her the most foolish young woman ever.
In response to what she did today, shaming her husband, her husband Seh Calaz then responded by dumping her on Instagram, which I don’t blame him, that was the right thing to do, to put her away publicly.
I chose to write about this because I know many Moira Knights in today’s black women, which even explains why many black women today are single. In fact just a month ago, one of my husband’s friends was dumped by his long term girlfriend because he wasn’t paying her rent and buying her luxury things. That’s the reason she gave for actually dumping him, yet this man loved her to bits and wanted to marry her.
This is a topic so close to my heart, I am a strong advocate of black love and marriage, and I know that for black love to thrive, black women have to do their part…
” A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1.
So this article is for every black woman who thinks like Moira Knight, and here it goes…
From the sounds of it, the man didn’t abuse you Moira, his crime to you is being a broke black man….If this man was abusive to you, then I wouldn’t have written this.
Do you actually think you have uncovered your husband by exposing his poverty to the world? No, you have uncovered yourself.
You chose this man to be your husband, you gladly said I do to him, for better for worse, in sickness and in health. This is not your boyfriend, this is your husband, the father of your son, so what is the point of exposing his nakedness to the world?
I can understand your frustrations about your husband not buying you and your son a house. But still, not owning a house is not a crime, especially in Africa, the land of poverty. You even explained that his music doesn’t pay nothing, so what are you expecting him to buy a house with? That said, as a woman, I understand your frustrations, it is a man’s responsibility to house his family. But when he fails to do this, you don’t tell the world, you help him work towards achieving this goal.
As for that dirty torn sofa in your matrimonial home, how disgraceful is that? That actually, is your own shortfall as a wife Moira. How can you, a woman who is based in the United Kingdom, have such a wretched sofa in your house? How do you even explain that sofa? It is a woman’s job to adorn her matrimonial house. You as a woman, make the home cosy, warm and comfortable, not the man.
If your husband can not give you the money to buy a sofa, you buy the sofa your damn self! You don’t even have to be a millionaire to put a decent two seater sofa in your living room. Do hair, sell clothes, sell vegetables, do something with your hands for crying out loud, you are not disabled. I have gone through your picture, I see you in Brazilian wigs and branded clothes, yet as a woman you go home and sit on such stinking filth, expecting your husband to fix it.
As for those pictures on the wall you said have no frames, are you mad, dear woman? You are a UK citizen, are you telling me you could not buy frames for as little as 10 pounds in Wilko or the Range in the UK. Did you expect your own husband, a man to go around looking for a picture frame? Have you no ounce of respect for your own husband?
You say your baby has no bath or cot bed…how much is a baby bath in the UK? Seriously, you can get the cheapest for as little as 5 pounds. As a mother, it’s your duty to buy these baby stuff yourself, its not like they are expensive.
So what are you contributing to the marriage materially? What do you bring to the table? How are you a help-meet for your husband? So are you saying your husband should adorn the house, pay the rent, buy the baby stuff, whilst you do nothing, apart from buying wigs, make-up and clothes?
There is no justification for that sofa, you have shamed yourself and proven that you were a dead beat wife.
The problem is you fell in love with the idea of being with a celebrity. You live in a fantasy world, where you compare people’s lives on social media to your own.
Not everyone you think is living the life really is living the life. People go as far as to rent houses for photo shoots. People hire private jets and luxury cars just to keep up appearances on social media. 90% of what people show us on social media is fake, and you go and throw away your marriage because your husband is not meeting the expectations you see on Instagram.
Walk your own road, at your own pace, never yield to the pressures of world expectations of what car you should be driving or what mansion you should be living by now. Be happy with your King, even in poverty. Be happy with the man of your dreams, more so in poverty. I consider the happiest moments of my relationship with my King when he had nothing. I tell him I miss the good old days we used to sleep on the mattress in our humble bedroom. I even miss the days we were homeless, and living in Air bnb’s. For us, those were the good old days, we made such priceless memories together.
I miss the days my King used to ask me for ten pounds, yet today he will say, “Baby, for your birthday, have 500 pounds and go shopping and buy yourself clothes.” That is the power and testimony of waiting on the man you love.
So what you are getting evicted. There is nothing special or shocking about getting evicted from a rented house. That’s what happens to most people who rent houses, they do get evicted, especially during this season of a global pandemic. And music artists have suffered the most during the plague because they can’t make money from shows. So the fact that your husband is getting evicted is not really a shocker, considering the times we are in.
This is the time to hold on to each other, and encourage your husband, and be his helper and rest. This is the time for your husband to see the virtuous woman that you are supposed to be. There is nothing more encouraging for a broken man than having a woman who stands by him through thick and thin. Imagine the glory and testimony, when your husband one day buys you a house and gives you the key. I have lived that testimony.
I am not saying anything I have not been through, most black men have the same story, especially artists and musicians. I too am married to a musician. I too fell in love with him as he sang to the crowd, looking all dressed up. I too had to live with the reality that music doesn’t really pay anymore, not only in Africa. If you watch Love and Hiphop in America, you learn that music doesn’t pay anymore worldwide. The most important thing is to believe in your husband, and encourage him, and help him with ideas to make money, whilst keeping his music dream alive, which is his soul. Never mock your husband’s ambition or gift, even if the music is not paying, just be there and believe in him.
A black man is never ready made, the reason is because black men inherit nothing from their fathers, they have to start from nothing in everything they do, then when they make it, they have side chicks, slay queens or concubines. But you were not a concubine or side chick, you were a WIFE, and you were supposed to build your house together with your husband.
And one thing you have to understand Moira is that another woman will come, and reap the little or big you have already sown in Seh Calaz’s life for however long you have been together.
You remind me of Tyler Perry’s movie Acrimony, I did a review on it and I spoke of black women like you…
The thing is Moira, you are no longer a spring chicken, your value on the market has already gone down, as from today, you are a single mother, one who is carrying so much drama and baggage. Men will give you loads of attention that’s for sure, but they only want to hit and run, because right now you are at your highest level of vulnerability, it will be rare to find a man who has your best interest at heart…
My advice is go back to your King and grovel, it is a way better road to walk.
You will be better off building your life with the father of your son, the broke ass nigga you know, than thinking some Knight in Shining Armour with a mansion and a Laura Ashley sofa will come and sweep you off your feet…
Well in your defense, when I showed my king your story this afternoon he was like, “The guy probably did something to really piss her off, they had a big fight, and she did this to get back at him. She wouldn’t do this out of the blue”
That’s my King, always understanding women he is…bless him.
But I say to you Moira and other black women like you, stop living in fantasy land and come back to planet earth were black man are broke until they meet the right woman to help them achieve their dreams…
The Genesis Of The Revelation By
Mary-Tamar was Jean
PS: I have a new born baby but for the love of writing I can’t waste a good scandal based article, so this article is unrevised, there maybe spelling and grammar errors, so be kind in your reading….