Why My Husband’s Third Wife Hagar Owes Me A Grovelling Apology

Okay, after Hagar stormed off on Monday morning and accused me of “deceiving” her and letting her sleep with my husband then telling her that the promise of the house was no longer available, a lot has happened since. She chose to retaliate and “break off”  the marriage or rather take a break to think things through.

I thought long and hard of the accusations Hagar brought before my conscience, and I became very upset by the things she accused me of. I have been nothing but kind to this woman. As a black woman activist, who is also a melanin and dark skin advocate, I had to change my mind when my husband brought her home and said he wanted her as a third wife. I do not believe in interracial marriages, I believe black men should stick to black women. So I now had to change my thinking and perception and accept her.

Not only that, just a month before, whilst I was in the gym with my husband, he broke the news to me that he wanted a third wife who would be his PA, and I accepted it and blessed him. When he then brought Hagar to the house weeks later, I realized that he had been seeing her, and had her in mind when he told me that he wanted a third wife. He asked me to accept and bless Hagar, and said if I don’t accept her, he can’t marry her. My husband believes I am not only his Queen, but his “Prophetess” too, so my blessings and prayers means so much to him.

My King believes I am not only his Queen but his Prophetess

I sacrificed a lot of my own beliefs, and my own house that my husband bought for my son, to accept Hagar into the family. I blessed her, and told her wholeheartedly that I loved her, and she was good for the family and would expand my husband’s empire, because not only is she an intelligent woman, she is a fantastic strategist, and already has worked part-time as a PA. Because she is an English teacher, as a writer I connected with her. So I genuinely liked Hagar.

When I blessed her, only about two weeks ago, I assumed that she would wait for the house being renovated to be completed first, then move into the house, then consummate her marriage to my King. Hagar being a virgin, I thought that it was even going to be more honourable and special. I thought she was a traditional woman, she told me she was raised in a strict culture which values womanhood. I thought this faze with my husband was only courtship and she would take things slow.

Shulamite had to first be official, my husband gave a token of bride prize to her family, then they consummated their marriage. My husband is a man of principles and values, he just doesn’t take women and sleep with them, he values women. He’s an Israelite King who fears God. That’s the husband I know….he is not loose. He is not a whore monger like many black men out there, who have side chicks and girlfriends they change like underpants, and they dishonour these women by not marrying them.

So I was very shocked, and honestly somewhat hurt, when I found out that Hagar and my King had consummated their marriage so fast. What had happened didn’t sound like my husband at all. Intimacy is a big deal to him, he just doesn’t lay with a woman just like that. With me, it took a year of us living together, before he could be with me. We used to just kiss and cuddle and he would tell me to be patient and wait. He has a crazy sense of self-control.

When he was back in Ghana, he spent 4 years without knowing a woman. It was so bad that some girlfriends wanted to literally kill him, because he refused to lay with them. When we got together, he told me that if he lies with a woman, it means she is extra special. If he gives her his seed, then she is a goddess. I was the first woman to be given his seed, after one year of waiting, and I became his Queen.

Nino 36
He waited a full year, and told me to be patient…
After a year of waiting, my King gave me his seed
And I gave him his first child, a melanin little goddess

So when I found out about Hagar, I was so shocked and confused. The fact that she did this with my husband behind my back was even worse.

So how Hagar came to accuse me of “letting her sleep with my husband” was beyond me.  I hate it when people bear false witness and put their shame and guilt on other people. I became very angry with Hagar. She repaid all my kindness to her with deception and malice.

So I went to my King, and I told him that I was so upset that Hagar was accusing me of deceiving her, and she said I disgraced her and blamed me for her lost virginity. When all this was done behind my back and without my blessing. I am the deceived one here.

To make matters worse, on Tuesday, she had the audacity to text my husband and say, “Can you take me for lunch tomorrow, I want to talk. I’m sorry for everything.”

I told my King that she can’t see him unless she comes to me and apologizes for accusing me of disgracing her. I had nothing to do with her lost token of womanhood.  I told my husband that she can’t deny that she accused me, because Shulamite was there, she is my witness.

So  my husband became very angry with her, and texted her that he was not taking her out for lunch since she had broken up with him and needed a “break.” She replied and said she wanted to discuss the break, with like a hundred crying emogies.

But my King was not giving in to her false tears. And whilst he was so angry with her, I took that opportunity to make my husband tell me why he went into Hagar and slept with her so soon when that was so unlike him. I asked him why he did that with Hagar, yet he had waited a year to be with me.

“Why didn’t you make Hagar wait? Was it because she is Asian?” I asked him.

And my King told me the truth, and it all made sense.

“I didn’t take her womanhood or whatever, she gave it to me. So I can’t understand why she is playing the victim. I told her to wait, it had to special, when the house was ready and I was ready to marry. I told you baby, that I am not taking a third wife till next year, I meant it.”

My King told me that Hagar refused to wait. My husband took her for lunch, and she begged him to take her to the Love Den and do it there that very afternoon. The cheek of Hagar, the Love Den is mine, with my husband. She said she was ready and she had prepared herself and couldn’t wait any longer. She said she didn’t want to be a 31-year-old virgin anymore, and now she had met her King so what was there to wait for. She said since your wife Jean has blessed us, it’s a sign that we should do it now. My husband even told her that the Love Den Apartment was not available, it was booked. She asked him to book a hotel room, and the King said no way. She said she would even go in a forest if there was nowhere to go.

Then she did the unthinkable and took my husband to one of our properties we are currently renovating to use as a short stay apartment. It’s not very bad, but it’s not premium or luxury at the moment. It has beds in it, but there is no bedding or anything in the property. My King told her that it’s cold and uncomfortable in there, they couldn’t possibly , but she insisted.

So she chose that place to give her womanhood away. And my husband even felt sorry for her, because he doesn’t humble a woman in such a way, especially a virgin whom he loves. He told her that he wasn’t going to go anywhere, she should have just waited for it to be beautiful and special in a very nice place, with time too.

Then she asked my King to promise he would never tell me that that’s what happened because she was so embarrassed,  that she is the one who begged him and chose a very humble place too. So my King kept it from me, for her own dignity, but when we saw her, Shulamite and I knew that she had been with the King.

So on Tuesday, my King texted her and told her that because you accused Jean of disgracing you, when in-fact you did that to yourself. I have told her what you did.

And he told her that I wanted you to be a wife, I was ready to give you a house. I wanted you to have everything a wife should have, but you chose to be a concubine, so a concubine you shall be. So when my wife told me that you were not to have the house, it was my son’s inheritance, I agreed because it was already in my spirit. I agreed because you showed me that you are not a wife, but a concubine, and I can not give you a full house. Jean waited a full year, she wanted me and I said no, you have to wait. Shulamite waited for years, she served me without asking for anything. That’s how I test a woman. Every man loves sex, but I can live without it.

So Hagar asked my husband, “You told her something that private, you broke your promise, now she will write all this on her blog.”

And my King said to her, “That’s how she survives in this world, she walks as she writes, it makes her happy. She has the ball in her hands, the pen is her life, I can never stop her from being her. I understand her.”

“You understand Jean. It’s all about Jean. What about me Kofi? Do you understand me too!”

“Of course I understand you my love, I love you always, but you are not a wife, you are a concubine. I told you to wait sweetheart, and you refused.  I wanted to honour you, and because of your virginity, I felt you deserved more honour. It’s up to you to accept your reality, and you will be as happy as Jean, even happier if you choose to be. I still love you. ”

I was literally over my husband’s shoulders as he was chatting with Hagar, and I saw him typing defending me. I smiled and I chose to walk away from seeing anymore chats…

So my King told me that he told her, that if she truly loved him, he was still there for her, but she had to come for Sabbath, and kneel before me, and apologize to me for all the manipulative accusations, then he can take her fully as his concubine.

And yes, I am waiting for that apology. I am a very loving Queen, who will treat my maidens with kindness and grace. I will be their sister. But I am like Sansa from Game of Thrones, the only character I resonated with, apart from Tyrion of course. I have endured enough abuse and torture in my life and it has given me a very tough heart,  that’s why I am now Mary-Tamar. Jean was weak and fragile, and everyone cruelly abused her. Mary-Tamar is the Queen in the North. I will be brutal at times in this Kingdom of King Kofi, no maiden treats me like what Hagar has done and gets away with it.  She may be Asian and have some sort of skin privilege in this world, but to me, she is just Hagar, the delight of my husband, the one who gives him freely. And yes I will write in on my online-diary…and the world can read all about it…

The Genesis Of The Revelation

By Mary-Tamar was Jean


2 thoughts on “Why My Husband’s Third Wife Hagar Owes Me A Grovelling Apology

  1. You all manipulated this woman . This was not the tube you were singing .

    Why did you have Shulamite prepare her a room and make it romantic if you had no idea this was happening ? Wtf

    I hope that woman washes her hands of this mess and finds a more functional relationship that this dysfunctional nonsense


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