So My Husband’s Third Wife Threatened To Break Up With Him, Because She Is No Longer Getting A House, Part 2

So Sunday night my husband agreed to have Hagar come over for a sleepover. I told him that I was officially giving him a full night with his third wife, and she would not sleep on the sofa downstairs, but she would have Shulamite’s bedroom for the night. I told him it was best he broke the news to her that she was no longer getting her own house in a bedroom, Shulamite’s bedroom. I told him that I didn’t want any drama from Hagar so he had to control the situation and keep his wife calm.

Boaz was like, “You are so happy, Jean. You really are loving this….” and he sighed and shook his head.

“But I am giving her a full night with you, her very first night with you. She should be honoured if anything…”

Well, Shulamite and my daughter came back from shopping, and I told Shulamite that Hagar was coming for the night, and I asked her to let her have her bedroom because she was spending the night with the King. Shulamite was looking at me with those, what’s going on eyes. I told her to make the bed and put red bedding from the love den apartment. I told her to bring some sort of romantic mood to the room.

One thing I love about Shulamite is she is such a calm spirited girl, that’s her Ghanaian side, she’s like my sister now. She has been so outnumbered by Hagar, but she’s doing okay, she is content. She was okay giving up her bed for Hagar, and I explained to her that it was important that the King and Hagar spend the night together, it was their first night together officially as husband and wife, and we had to make it count.

Shulamite and I understand intimacy in polygamy. We always talk about it. To survive as a plural wife, you can’t be possessive about sex as a woman. As a plural wife, a woman has to understand that she is a receiver of her husband’s manhood, and he is a giver.  Your goal as a plural wife is to make sure you receive your husband whenever he wants to give and you just enjoy him. In this modern world, feminism has made women have this strange idea that they OWN a man’s manhood. In the ancient world, women never thought like that, they were happy to just receive, and even gift their husbands with concubines if need be. So polygamy was an easy way of life back then, because the women behaved like women.

Today women have so much control over men sexually when they get married. The men are actually under their thumb. Married women deny their husbands so much, a lot of married men out there live as though they had no wives. Men have to beg their own wives for sex. The woman decides when to give it to her husband, half the time she is “tired”. The woman decides what position to give her husband, she denies him almost all his preferences. I would say in the modern world, 80% of married man are unsatisfied sexually. In the bedroom, they are controlled by their wives it’s beyond pathetic. That’s why they cheat so much or resort to paying prostitutes. Most monogamous marriages are an absolute disaster because these “only” wives have way too much power on the marriage bed.

Anyway, back to the story, both Shulamite and I are kinda of the same, we believe in the King having his lillies and feeding and getting satisfied. We both love the erotic side of polygamy. No married man, especially a King should ever beg for sex or stay unsatisfied.

So Shulamite was okay giving up her bed for Hagar, she even sprayed it and made it so romantic. I told her she could sleep on the sofa bed, or come into my chamber if she wished. I told her since she was literally trading places with the King, she might as well sleep where he sleeps and put her head where he puts his head. Shulamite loved the idea so much. It was like a dream come true to her.

So Hagar came later on in the evening. She brought more treats for the little ones and she helped with putting the children to bed. I told her that she could spend the night with the King, and have Shulamite’s room. I told her Shulamite and I respected that she should spend a full night with the King, since she was now his third wife.

There was a wave of excitement on her face, and her eyes brightened, and she hugged me so tight and thanked me. I could tell she couldn’t wait to go to bed.

So Sunday night, Shulamite and I shared a bed. It was so strange but so beautiful seeing Shulamite put her head on my husband’s pillow. I then told her that Hagar was not going to have her own house, and that was the news Boaz was going to break to her. So they needed a room and a full night.

Shulamite had so much to say about that, one thing I know she was so overjoyed, she almost jumped out of bed.

The night was peaceful, there was no drama and we didn’t hear any yelling or crying.

Monday morning came and Shulamite got up to do her chores. Hagar came around six am to knock on my bedchamber. I told her to come in.

Her eyes were red. I knew she had been crying. She sat on the bed, and asked Shulamite to excuse us, who was feeding Chaka.

I was like, “No Hagar, Shulmaite stays where she is, say whatever you want to say in front of her.”

She breathed deeply and fought back more tears.

“So you let me sleep with him, and give away my womanhood, well knowing that I wasn’t going to be the wife I had been promised?”

“Oh so you now regret giving away your precious womanhood, did you sleep with him for a house then? I thought you loved him?”

“I do love him, but he deceived me, no you did! I spoke to you about this, I asked for your blessing, and all this time you were planning this? Why do you hate me, Jean, what have I done to you to deserve this.”

“Jean doesn’t hate you,” Shulamite interjected.” You are the one who told me about respecting the hierarchy of wives remember. And you accused me of disrespecting Jean. Who is doing that now? You are always asking to sleep here, so why can’t you live with us? Why do you think you are better than everyone else?”

“I am not even talking to you. This conversation has nothing to do with you Shulamite. I don’t want a scene here, I am not like that. When did I ever say I am better than anyone else?” Hagar snapped, looking at Shulamite.

“Hagar, Hagar, please sis, just stop. I never promised you a house, my husband did. And he was wrong to do that. Do you even know how he bought that house? That house can’t be yours, sorry, it belongs to my son. I still love you, and I think what Kofi has offered you is the best considering everything. If you want to leave this marriage, just leave if it’s too much for you.”

“And that is exactly what you want isn’t it? For me to leave Kofi, after he has already humbled me. You want me to be disgraced, Jean. Kofi told me that you said because I am Indian I am not worthy to be with a black man, and I have to prove myself to you that I am worthy. You had all this planned all along, I am now your puppet aren’t I?” Sadly she literally started weeping.

“Aww Hagar, don’t cry. I love you as a sister, nothing is going to change. You bring so much positivity to the family, and I know Kofi loves you so much. Everything will be fine, just trust him.”

“No, I just need a break. I don’t understand you Jean, one minute I am your sister and I open up to you about how my father denied me a house, the next you are conspiring against me to Kofi and do the same thing to me. You have just taken away everything from me, all my pride and my dignity.”

“How have I taken away your pride and dignity?” I asked her.

She said she doesn’t want to talk about it, and was going home and needed some space to think things through. She apologized to Shulamite for being rude. It was so strange how she quickly composed herself. She actually wiped her tears and smiled, and said she has always been a giver not a receiver anyway, and she is not going to break down over a house. She rents her own luxury apartment and she has always been blessed.

She said she loved us both, even though she may not get the same love back. Then she said goodbye and left, and said she needed a break and won’t be coming for Sabbath this week.

Shulamite and I just looked at each other in utter shock. Sadly when she left, Shulamite could not stop laughing. It was so funny but sad.

“I rent my own luxury apartment …” Shulamite was imitating her.

I couldn’t wait for Boaz to wake up, I wanted to hear everything from him.

Shulamite got on with her school run, and I went to Shulamite’s room to see the King. He was busy on his phone acting and looking like everything was normal. He looked at me like, what’s up, can I help you Madam?

I was like, “Umm a good morning my love would be nice, and you know I want to talk about Hagar, so why are you playing dumb”

“Well, I told her to come and clear things with you before she left. Did she not?”

“Do you not want to talk about it then? Why are you being funny with me?”

“I am not, I am just busy.”

“Please, can I talk to you then? Put your phone away, and don’t do this babe… not this morning.”

“Okay, what happened? Did she come to talk to you?” I knew he wasn’t in the mood of talking.

“Yes she came to talk to me, and tried to dismiss Shulamite, but I insisted Shulamite stay. She blamed me, and said she’s taking a break from everything and won’t come for Sabbath. She said I have disgraced her.  But I want to hear it from you, what really happened. How did she take it?”

“There is nothing to say, Jean, you knew she would be upset. And she is obviously. But it is what it is isn’t it?”

“So is she really taking a break from the marriage?”

“Well that’s what she’s saying, but she’s just angry and retaliating. When she said she’s taking a break I just said okay do what you want. You know what you women are like. I know she’s not taking any break, before the end of the day she will be calling me and texting me and accusing me of ignoring her like you do when you are angry with me. How many times have you told me you are not going to speak to me again and you are the one who comes back to speak to me.”

The funny thing is as Boaz was still speaking, Hagar sent a song to him on WhatsApp.

Say something I am giving up on you…

And he laughed, and he was like like…”Am I a prophet or what? Even if she breaks up with me Jean, any woman who breaks up with me always comes back. ”

That’s what I love about my Boaz, he just laughs about everything, even things which are meant to cause earthquakes. And it was so funny, that she couldn’t even wait for an hour after the “break”. And she was already sending sad songs to the King so he would feel sorry for her.

DSC_0349 (2)
Boaz and I ended up laughing so bad, not at Hagar but at the whole situation

So I ended up laughing, and he laughed too. And he told me that no woman, especially a wife breaks up with him…if anything he will be the one to break up with Hagar, not the other way round.

He spoke in his Ghana tongue and he was like, “Twia, am I a fool, to be dumped by my own woman whom I was her first love…house or no house, Hagar can’t go anywhere.”

The Genesis Of The Revelation By

Mary-Tamar was Jean

 

 

 

8 thoughts on “So My Husband’s Third Wife Threatened To Break Up With Him, Because She Is No Longer Getting A House, Part 2

  1. I found found your blog via a popular forum and have read several posts. What you did to this third woman was downright sly – both you and your husband planned to tell her she could not have the house, after she slept with him and not before. If she has any sense, she will leave this unhealthy situation.

    From your posts, I can see that you do not practise Polygyny (please get the terminology right. Polygamy is an umbrella term for people with multiple partners. Polygyny refers to a man with multiple wives) according to how African women set it up. They did it to pool resources together and raise strong, wealthy and healthy families. Here you speak of a “handmaiden” doing your chores whilst you “write” – that is not a co-wife but a slave providing free labour to you and free sexual services to your husband. She sounds naive but eventually I pray that her ancestors will free her. I’ll keep reading your posts because quite frankly, they are amusing.

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  2. I found found your blog via a popular forum and have read several posts. What you did to this third woman was downright sly – both you and your husband planned to tell her she could not have the house, after she slept with him and not before. If she has any sense, she will leave this unhealthy situation.

    From your posts, I can see that you do not practise Polygyny (please get the terminology right. Polygamy is an umbrella term for people with multiple partners. Polygyny refers to a man with multiple wives) according to how African women set it up. They did it to pool resources together and raise strong, wealthy and healthy families. Here you speak of a “handmaiden” doing your chores whilst you “write” – that is not a co-wife but a slave providing free labour to you and free sexual services to your husband. She sounds naive but eventually I pray that her ancestors will free her. I’ll keep reading your posts because quite frankly, they are amusing.

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  3. Why did he tell her after having sex with her that he was not giving her the house…why did he not say it before? Boaz sounds grumpy about the whole issue. I do not really understand much about Polygamy, but from the little understanding i have the husband should be the head and the other wives should do as what their husband pleases. I enjoy reading your blog and i learn one or two things from them so I am not here for negativity but to share my thoughts. From my point of view it seems like the other women are there to serve you and for you i.e to clean the house, feed and take care of the kids, cook and service your husband for sex when you do not feel like it.

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  4. You seem to be suggesting that Hagar is a ‘gold digger’, or wrong for being upset that she will no longer be getting the house promised to her. But think about it. Why would any sane person agree to be the third wife of a man who can’t offer her much? There are plenty of broke men out there who can give her ‘love’ and sex without the polygamy and the stress/issues that arise when sharing a man with two other wives. If your husband can’t provide something as basic as housing for all of his wives without you worrying that he’s eating into your child’s ‘inheritance’, then he has no business taking multiple wives. He can’t afford it.

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    1. Exactly. Not sure which rulebook this household is following but in shona culture (which Jean despises) a polygamous man must treat ALL his wives equally. No handmaiden stuff. He must also provide for them equally. No sharing of beds (nasty) or bedrooms. No sharing of kitchen or house. It is a fact universally acknopledged that Women cannot share a kitchen. If this Boaz who is looking more and more unlikable cannot provide for his women with the basics he has no business being a polygamist.

      And this hagar and shulamite are human beings with feelings. Unlessif this is all made up You guys (Jean and boaz) are playing with fire whr there might be little or no water.

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      1. Jean has past experience of a man in a powerful position using a corrupted version of Christian teachings and scripture to take sexual advantage of women. She’s been through some horrible things at the hands of horrible people and I admire the strength she showed throughout that Masocha/Agape ordeal.

        But it seems like she’s fallen into the hands of another manipulative user, and is now helping and facilitating the abuse of other women. The parallels and similarities are stark. She and her husband are now the ones using corrupted scripture and Christian teachings to justify the maltreatment of these ‘handmaids’ and excuse her husband’s sexual deviance.

        Jean, I hope you wake up and realise this soon so you can save your children from growing up in such a dysfunctional environment. You have issues with your own mother and the way she raised you. Your children will also grow up one day and realise just what you’re exposing them to and I promise you that they will not thank you for it.

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