So yesterday I found myself on this website where one of my articles on black hair had been shared. The website seems to be run by a certain Babatunde Umanah, a black man who wrote the book ‘Negro Wars’. From the little I gathered, the book berates black women and advises black men to not marry or date black women because apparently “black women are so full of self hate,” and they try to imitate the beauty of white women. Most of the followers on this site are black men and white women who call themselves white queens.
As I went through the articles on this website, I couldn’t believe how much black men actually openly mock black women. One black guy on the blog testified that he had been encouraging his black cousins never to date or touch black girls, and because of him they were now dating white girls only. He said the black females in his family were so upset, but he said he didn’t care. Their motto is that, “no self respecting black man would ever date or marry a black woman.”
To be honest I was so horrified by this website, I showed it to my husband and said to him, “Why would black men do this though, why openly mock black women to white women, and praise white women at the expense of black women?”
My husband was like, “But they are justified though, they are mocking black women who wear weaves, those black women do hate themselves though.”
“But why mock the black women to white women? That’s just embarrassing.” I asked my husband.
“No its not wrong, if I had the choice of being with a black woman who wears a weave and a white woman, I would choose the white woman. Why go for fake when you can have the real deal. Black women bleach their skin, black women wear white hair, are they not trying to be white? ” That was my husband’s argument.
What really got to me on the website was a number of articles about how black weave wearing women smell. There was an article about how black women who wear weaves always have smelly vaginas. According to them weave wearing black women smell, and apparently their vaginas smell because they do not care about sexual health.
One black rapper actually went on TV to speak about how a vagina of a black woman he slept with was smelling. He started going on Twitter and shaming this poor black woman, saying she had a pretty face and a hot body, but a had a smelly honeypot.
For me, whether the vagina was smelling or not, it’s so shameful that a man would come out and say that about his own black woman, his fellow sister. The wretchedness of black people though.
Anyway, my husband was like there is a bit of truth in that too, most women who wear the weaves and wigs have so much issues with their hygiene, sometimes you can smell the weaves from a distance. These black women are never bothered by the smells of their weaves, how much more what is inside them? That was my husband’s argument.
My husband told me about this girl who once visited him to his room at Uni, he said she was smelling so bad, her weave and all, and her body was emitting such a repulsive smell he had to politely ask her to go.
There is even an article here which says, Black women save your men the torture of a smelly weave.
So I thought about it really, as much as these black men are mean and out of order mocking black women about smelling, maybe black women also don’t do much to redeem themselves on the matter. The number of black men, especially the young boys going after white women is alarming really. Obviously its a deep spiritual issue, a curse rather, but there can be practical issues which can be resolved here.
One thing I know about black women, myself included, is we struggle to accept wrong or just listen to what our men actually want, especially when it comes to beauty. We blame black men for leaving us for “Becky with the good hair”, but we do not want to listen to the black man when he says to us, “Stop trying to look like Becky.”
It doesn’t matter that our argument is that we are being diverse, creative and bla bla blah, to most black men we are trying to look like Becky, so they would rather have a Becky instead.
Maybe its also important to look at the other side of the coin, and listen to these men. Maybe there is something really off putting going on to these young black men.
When it comes to weaves and wigs, black women never teach each other about the hygiene and care of these pieces of fake hair. They just don’t seem to care about the hygiene aspects of these weaves and wigs. They just want to look a certain way, and think its beauty, without a care in the world of how they smell.
I think here in the UK its better, when it comes to smelly weaves, I once went to Zimbabwe and I could not believe what I was smelling and seeing in the streets, the weather in Africa doesn’t also make it easier, its just the wrong place to bread weaves. Boy, these things stinks, especially under the African sun.
There is over emphasis on having the fake hair on black women’s heads which seems to be all that matters overlooking hygiene.
I just want to say to any black woman reading my blog, young or old, please do take care of your weaves, at least wash them every week or something, you can not just keep oiling them over and over without washing them, especially in hot weather. Its not your natural hair, so its bound to build up smell even more.
And when it comes to sexual hygiene my black sisters, maybe your mothers won’t teach you, but no matter how pretty your face is, no matter how hot your body is, there is never justification under the sun why you should ever lie with a man without washing your vagina. As much as the vagina is beautiful to behold and taste to the male species it can be the most disgusting part of the female body because it eliminates so much and goes through so much. Male genitalia is nowhere near as repulsive and can’t be compared to the female genitalia. If a man goes for a day without a shower, it won’t be as bad as a woman going for a day without a shower, it’s just how our anatomy is unfortunately. We need to bath more. We need to take care of our bodies more.
And maybe when it comes to wigs, just take the damn things off when you want to get intimate. Just be fresh and natural at least when lying with a man.
Black women also have bigger buttocks, surely the bigger the buttocks, the more the sweat and all sorts of issues, so if not washed regularly, especially after using the ladies, that big booty will be nothing but a big smelly disgusting booty. So please, black women…
Let’s save ourselves some unnecessary reproach and mockery from some black men (a lot of them actually) and some white women ( a lot of them too).
Our heads don’t have to smell, they are our crowns.
Our honeypots should never smell too, that’s our womanhood.
And our backsides shouldn’t smell either.
Let’s restore our pride and dignity, there is more to womanhood and beauty than just weaves and wigs.
The Genesis Of The Revelation by
Mary-Tamar was Jean