Okay I almost didn’t write this blog. But this journey of polygamy has been about honesty and the reality of what it means to live this lifestyle. I believe the 400 year return is about Israel returning back to innocence, and that includes the life of patriarchy. I have had a lot of people ask me questions, most of my readers wants to see Shulamite, my handmaid and co-wife. Like I said she’s not a social media person, she’s very private, but soon maybe during the festive season, we will do a photo-shoot with her. It’s all about the right timing and her being comfortable to be revealed.
Anyway, polygamy is a marriage, and like any other type of marriages, it is not smooth sailing. It takes effort to make it work. I thought I would share about the first challenge I encountered in this journey. Things have been pretty normal for most of the times, apart from the obvious living adjustments of having Shulamite join our household.
But things took a little bit of a turn last week when Boaz traveled to London for two days for meetings.
So I was left alone for the first time with the Shulamite, with the children of course.
On the morning Boaz traveled, Shulamite did not come into my room to take the baby and feed him at 6am, according to his routine. I then woke up and prepared breakfast for the baby, then I went back to bed.
At 7am, shulamite was still in bed, she has been waking my daughter and getting her ready for school, but on this morning she didn’t.
So I sent her a whats-app message asking if everything was okay. There were two blue ticks on the whats-app message as soon as I sent it, but she did not reply. So I had to get my daughter ready for school. I then knocked on her door and asked her to take the child to school. She took her time to get ready, to the point where the child was almost late.
So I got really angry, but tried my best not to show it.
After the school run, I didn’t see much of Shulamite, she chose to stay in her room most of the day. I sensed that there was an attitude problem brewing so I texted Boaz and told him what was going on and that I didn’t understand her behavior. He said he was busy but when free he was going to call her and ask what was going on.
As I was preparing dinner in the evening with my two boys helping me, she came to join me in the kitchen, and said she was sorry for what had happened in the morning and during the day, but it was her time of the month and during that time she normally suffers from pain. I did say to her I would appreciate some sort of communication than just going silent on me and leaving me in the lurch with the house chores. I also wasn’t happy with the fact that she had ignored my whats-app message that morning.
So that evening, I did excuse her from any chores, and I bathed the little ones and I put them to sleep. Boaz called me and I told him I wasn’t too happy with how she had behaved especially knowing he wasn’t there.
Anyway, the next day she chose not to even come out of her room, so again I did everything by myself. I texted her and asked if she needed anything, and said she was fine.
Anyway Boaz came back that afternoon. We had planned that he would take me out for dinner that evening. During summer every Friday he took me out to my favorite pub for a date. So I was really anticipating this date because Baoz had not taken me out for a while with all the changes which has been going on. I had my outfit ready and everything.
So Boaz came home, we were all excited and welcome him, but Shulamite stayed in her room.
I told Boaz that we all have our times of the month, but this was way over the top and quite dramatic.
So before he went up to greet her, he said it was better to sit us both down and get to the bottom of whatever was going on.
To cut the long story short, Shulamite was summoned by Boaz to our chamber and he asked her what on earth was actually going on. She said she was not feeling well, because it was her time. So Boaz asked her if all women should just abandon their household and chores because it was their time. And he asked her if there was more to her behavior.
Boaz always has a way of getting the truth out of people. It’s very difficult to lie to him. His wisdom is almost like that of Solomon. He questioned her until he got the truth out of her.
Shulamite broke down and confessed that one of her friends had advised her against this path she had taken and had advised her that she doesn’t have to be my handmaid especially when Boaz was not around.
Boaz asked her if her friend is a married woman, and obviously she said this friend is not married.
So Boaz asked her why she was taking relationship counsel from a woman who does not have a husband?
Because she was very remorseful and upset about the whole situation, I just felt so sorry for her and told Boaz that he should take her out for dinner instead of me, as I had a lot of writing to do anyway.
Because Boaz was angry with her, he said no. But in the end, I convinced him and told him he should take her out for my sake.
So she went out for the pub meal instead of me, I felt like she really needed that time alone with him.
She came back in very good spirits, and because Boaz was so tired from the traveling he went to bed early.
So as I was watching TV that night, Shulamite came to join me for a chat. She thanked me for allowing her to go to dinner with Boaz, she said she had had such a good time and she was so blessed to have a good man like Boaz. She said she had been such a fool to take advice from her friend who is struggling to get herself a man and who even dated a married man. She showed me some of the messages the friend has been sending her, telling her not to lower herself to the position of a handmaid and to leave, and all I could deduce from this friend of hers was that she was very jealous of Shulamite.
I told her straight that she had to cut this “friend” from her life because she sounded like a feminist and a Jezebel. The profile picture of the friend alone was scary, her face was covered in paint/make-up and her hair/weave/wig was like a horse’s tail.
Anyway, we had so much to talk about. We spoke about our journeys and life. I shared my life story with her, and her eyes welled up. She said she had never met a woman like me before and my journey told her I was a Queen, her own Queen and she will always be true to her word and serve me forever. She said she always prayed that one day she would be with Boaz, because she admired how real he was, and God had answered her prayers, and she was not going to let her jealous friends ruin it for her.
I told her that to be with an anointed King like Boaz, you can’t really have friends in your life, because they will most likely try to break you up with him, I personally encountered friends and family who tried so hard to break me and Boaz up when we first got together. I like the fact that Shulamite is very teachable and does listen to me. Because of what I told her, she blocked her friend from her whats-app.
As the bible says, “Behold, as the eyes of a maidservant looks to the hand of her mistress, so our eyes look to the LORD our God, till he has mercy upon us.” Psalm 123.
I told her that she is my handmaid, but I will let her enjoy Boaz and go out for dinner dates, and will treat her with kindness, because she was my friend and sister even though I am her mistress. We read the scriptures and prayed, and literally went to bed at like 4am in the morning.
Sabbath came, and we had the most amazing spirit filled Sabbath service in our house.
If anything the incident brought me and my handmaid closer together, I think its because her spirit is in the right place. She is so open, and showed me the chats she had had with her “friend.” Even something which was meant to be a challenge turned into a blessing.
That is the God of Mary-Tamar
The Genesis of the Revelation
By Mary-Tamar was Jean