Mummy, I’m Tempted To Put Braids In My Hair But I Don’t Want To Sin Against God

“I love my natural hair mummy, but it’s so hard to maintain it. I’m tempted to put braids in my hair, but I won’t do it because I don’t want to sin against God.” These were the words of my 14-year-old daughter today.

I’ve always taught my girls, especially my first daughter about the importance of keeping their looks natural


She’s my firstborn and my first love. She’s a credit to me because she’s turned out to be a beautiful soul inside and out. She’s very conscious of her identity as a black girl. Ever since she was little, I tried my best to teach her that she’s beautiful, naturally. When she was 4 years old, I made a mistake of relaxing her hair. By the time she was 6 I had cut off all the relaxed hair and started her natural hair journey.

She always loved having braids, me too I used to love braids, but some time last year I had an awakening about braids, their pagan Egyptian origins and why it is wrong for a woman to put artificial hair in her own hair. I shared this with my daughter, and she had her own awakening at the time, that God was real.

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In Autumn last year my daughter and I embarked on a strictly natural hair journey

But today she felt sad because she went through her old pictures and was reminded of the days she used to have braids.

I hugged her and told her that it’s not easy being a black woman in this world, especially one who wears her own hair. The black woman has no crown, she has to go to Thailand or India or Brazil to get the hair of other women who are considered more beautiful, and call their hair expensive luxury hair.

I told my daughter that yes our hair doesn’t grow as long as we would want it. It doesn’t have the texture that we desire, and it shrinks when it rains. Its a curse God put on us, but in the fullness of time, that curse will be lifted.

Moreover the Lord saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet:Therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will discover their secret parts.” Isaiah 3 vs 16-17

I told my daughter that shes better off having her own hair which doesn’t flow to the shoulders than to wear an Indian woman’s hair.

I said to my daughter, “As hard as it is, let your crown be your pride. God knows why he took away our long hair and gave us short hair, but we can’t go and insult Him and ourselves by borrowing another woman’s crown. It’s beyond disgraceful. We can’t put the Egyptians braids either to cover our crown. If we endure till the end, we will get our glorious crown back.”

For me what amazed me about my baby girl was her fear of God. She knows in her heart that the reproach of the black woman has always been on her crown. And somehow, she refuses to be a part of that reproach.

My daughter refuses to partake in the reproach of the black woman

When I told my husband that our daughter was having a bad hair day, today he said he won’t have his ‘Nubian princess’  his exact words, feeling like she needed to put anything in her hair or that her hair wasn’t beautiful enough.

Yes, my husband hates, as in he absolutely despises artificial hair on a black woman, be it braids, wigs or weaves. He would rather black women be bold than put on artificial hair.

The reproach of the black woman

At the beginning of this year, I started the year with a bad natural hair day, and Boaz took it upon himself to make me feel like my crown is enough and always be. He told me that he will make sure that my hair will always be natural, no matter what. He styled my hair and said the most beautiful prayer over my crown. He made me feel like the most beautiful Princess.



So today he decided to take Nakai out for a walk, and talk to her about her hair and how beautiful she is with just her hair, nothing more.

I don’t even know what Boaz said to her, but she came back home with the most beautiful smile and went straight into her bathroom and did her own black hair magic. I couldn’t help but capture her joy at her crown.


Nubian Nakai


She started off by feeling so sad that her hair is not the length she wants and felt the pain and struggle of being a black girl because, at her age, most black girls do not keep their own hair like she does. But she ended up so happy and felt so empowered by me and Boaz, and most importantly by her own conviction and truth, that no matter how short or nappy her hair is, her own hair is far more beautiful than any other crown she could put on.

We watch Nappily Ever After, but not many of us believe that the Black woman may have a fairytale hair story, and have her reproach taken away and throw away the wigs.


I am just glad that Nakai believes, hers is a true life Nappily Ever After and Boaz and I are so proud of her.

I had to end with our version of #10yearchallenge which is trending at the moment 

The Genesis Of The Revelation

By Mary-Tamar Was Jean


15 thoughts on “Mummy, I’m Tempted To Put Braids In My Hair But I Don’t Want To Sin Against God

    1. Yowe being pro black is considered mental illness in Zim. Vakafa Havana chavakaona shuwa
      Jean keep doing you girl, your dota is a beauty


  1. Mary Tamar I love your spirituality. My mother was exactly the same about hair I understand your daughter’s dilemma. I grew to appreciate her teachings more now. I have sister locks now and will definitely never go back to weaves or wigs. They just don’t look right on a black woman😒


    1. Shidaa, that’s rich coming from a black woman who has to depend on Snapchat filter to look descent. Mary Tamar is living her truth which is better than the bubble most black folk like you live in


  2. Back ward narrow minded.
    I believe all black woman are beautiful, regardless of there hair style chooses. chooses they have earned the right to make. Today people can investigate all types of products, thanks to the many that have stood up and fight for representation within the beauty industry for woman of colour.
    Still not perfect but better than before.

    Your measure of what dictates that a black woman must conform to the misguided understanding of what is a black woman.
    Misquoting text, clearly a lack of appreciation for the written word and it’s content.

    If your husband likes your hair good for you.
    No one else should of interest to him.

    You are unaware black people hair can grow you just have not been able to grow yours.


    1. “You are unaware black people hair can grow you just have not been able to grow yours.”

      It’s sad that Black people have to resort to blatantly lying to themselves that their hair can just grow like that of any other race. And you know in your heart that your hair doesn’t grow like you are trying to portray. The curse is real, how sad.


      1. Jean gives us a break, your brain doesn’t function properly, stop confusing that child more, she is already messed up by your choices already, one day she will know that you where masochas prostitute & when your affair went wrong you started crying foul. You are so ingrossed in kings & queens but be rest assured that you & that ugly Boaz are not.


  3. One’s personal choice is their choice, why can’t people respect that. Is it my personal choice- no, I have not gotten that revelation yet, but that doesn’t mean that I should attack the author of this narrative. Why are there so many trolls on here, with nothing to do but shade everything that is written? Calling the author names and false accusations is to do what really- keyboard killers with nothing to do except bring other people down. I’m so sorry your lives are that pathetic and dull you cant find self-fulfillment in anything other than being a troll…Tt; Shidaa and Boaz what did you even gain from that? Can we have a constructive dialogue with each other for a change, not the name-calling and usual mudslinging

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The trolls are my ex-husband, and his Zimbabwean brothers. These people are degenerate, and they are like the people of Sodom and Gomorrah, it’s impossible for them to see any light or let alone be saved. When I say Zimbabwe is doomed, this is exactly what I mean. The language they use on me is a reflection of their hearts. The very thing they say to me is actually what they are, not only are their minds not sound, they are demon possessed as well.

      If anything, they serve as purpose to remind me that I AM right. And more so everything I write about their country Zimbabwe comes to pass…


      1. U know wat. Let ur child be free and happy she only lives ounce she is probably hurting inside seeing other kids her age at school or watever looking good. And the other thing is please stop referring to the whole of zimbabweans as cursed or watever shiit u keep saying. Just because u had a bad experience in zim or with someone from zim doesn’t mean keep chatting shit about zims. And u keep talking like u are a christian yet you are not. Christians dont wish bad on others even if there wronged u. Yet u cursing and wishing bad on everyone in zim( wat have there done to u) You are just a bible read and not a christian. And let me educate u quickly. The Bible was written by white pple to confuse Africans. U don’t need a bible to know stealing or killing is wrong. U just know. @ the end of the day if u wanna be a goid Christian just teach urself and kids ti always do good all the time and just love evryone the same. Don’t fucken make ur kids lives difficult over some words written by some dude. And watever happened to u to hate zim please deal with it urself coz not everyone in zim is bad


      2. Lol u hate the whole of zim just coz of ur ex-husband. Did someone stick a gun to ur head for u to marry him………….
        So please stop chattimg shitt about zimbabweans and deal ur issues by urrself


  4. I just finished reading ur story on google. If that really happend to u then iam really sorry coz no woman deserves abuse no matter wat the situation is. And back to wat I saying b4 people need to wake up and be able to make decisions for them self’s. Iam not blaming u coz most africans are being controlled by there church but how does a grown ass woman and man go give another man 600£or$ when u dont have food in the house. This is wat iam sayimg u don’t a church or bible or pastor to tell u how to live ur life u can pray at home and as a human all u can try do in gods eyes is the best u can do to be good and that all we can actually do giving pastor money ain’t gonna make u rich or take u to heaven it will only make u broke. Iam not sayimg anything but on one of those pics were the pastor guy has purple tshirt u guys are holding each other like u do private prayer sessions. How does a married woman hold another man like that and if I was ur husband I would have divorced u back then. But seriiusly be careful with these churches pray at home and jst try be good in gods eyes


  5. That’s a rare article. Refreshing to read. I like what one black American pastor asks black women, ” WHAT’S WRONG WITH HOW GOD MADE YOU?” Indeed it is the media that has made black women to hate themselves. I feel like throwing up when I see black women wearing silly wigs and pretending to be something that they will never be. Women with big position and status are so scared to wear their REAL HAIR. It seems as if black hair is more like leprosy or something to be ashamed of! Does God make mistakes? One Indonesian woman once told me African hair looks so unique and nice more like noodles in looking. It is insanity to have almost the whole continent wearing stupid wigs or human hair from Asian and so forth.

    I was impressed with the Ugandan president who told that beauty pageant from there to wear her REAL HAIR to truly represent black hair.. She is Miss World Africa or so. She looked more attractive next time I saw her with her own hair. I married late because I did not want a woman hiding behind some UNHYGIENIC wig or something from India, NO. How can you trust a woman with a wig? A wig is a MASK and it’s a sign of INFERIORITY complex, self hate, WEAKNESS, hypocrisy and being unstable. I feel sorry for black girls who grow up with weak role models who hate their race. On television, in movies, churches etc they just see grown women wearing WIGS! How do the Catholic nuns maintain they black hair without complaining?

    Black can only be beautiful when black women stop being COPIES of other races. I think it was John Mason or someone like that who said something like this, ” YOU WERE BORN ORIGINAL SO DON’T DIE A COPY. ”

    By the way Ms. Jean, your children are so beautiful and have amazing real hair. Tell that daughter of yours to not be scared to be different from other black girls. Being black is not a physical disability. She can be encouraged to watch one tribe from Chadian villages who keep their hair natural and LONG. They use some roots to make it not to break. They look good. I cannot recall that tribe but you can find the documentary on YouTube.

    Thanks for your articles and happy new year!!!


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