“I love my natural hair mummy, but it’s so hard to maintain it. I’m tempted to put braids in my hair, but I won’t do it because I don’t want to sin against God.” These were the words of my 14-year-old daughter today.
She’s my firstborn and my first love. She’s a credit to me because she’s turned out to be a beautiful soul inside and out. She’s very conscious of her identity as a black girl. Ever since she was little, I tried my best to teach her that she’s beautiful, naturally. When she was 4 years old, I made a mistake of relaxing her hair. By the time she was 6 I had cut off all the relaxed hair and started her natural hair journey.
She always loved having braids, me too I used to love braids, but some time last year I had an awakening about braids, their pagan Egyptian origins and why it is wrong for a woman to put artificial hair in her own hair. I shared this with my daughter, and she had her own awakening at the time, that God was real.
But today she felt sad because she went through her old pictures and was reminded of the days she used to have braids.
I hugged her and told her that it’s not easy being a black woman in this world, especially one who wears her own hair. The black woman has no crown, she has to go to Thailand or India or Brazil to get the hair of other women who are considered more beautiful, and call their hair expensive luxury hair.
I told my daughter that yes our hair doesn’t grow as long as we would want it. It doesn’t have the texture that we desire, and it shrinks when it rains. Its a curse God put on us, but in the fullness of time, that curse will be lifted.
“Moreover the Lord saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet:Therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the Lord will discover their secret parts.” Isaiah 3 vs 16-17
I told my daughter that shes better off having her own hair which doesn’t flow to the shoulders than to wear an Indian woman’s hair.
I said to my daughter, “As hard as it is, let your crown be your pride. God knows why he took away our long hair and gave us short hair, but we can’t go and insult Him and ourselves by borrowing another woman’s crown. It’s beyond disgraceful. We can’t put the Egyptians braids either to cover our crown. If we endure till the end, we will get our glorious crown back.”
For me what amazed me about my baby girl was her fear of God. She knows in her heart that the reproach of the black woman has always been on her crown. And somehow, she refuses to be a part of that reproach.
When I told my husband that our daughter was having a bad hair day, today he said he won’t have his ‘Nubian princess’ his exact words, feeling like she needed to put anything in her hair or that her hair wasn’t beautiful enough.
Yes, my husband hates, as in he absolutely despises artificial hair on a black woman, be it braids, wigs or weaves. He would rather black women be bold than put on artificial hair.
At the beginning of this year, I started the year with a bad natural hair day, and Boaz took it upon himself to make me feel like my crown is enough and always be. He told me that he will make sure that my hair will always be natural, no matter what. He styled my hair and said the most beautiful prayer over my crown. He made me feel like the most beautiful Princess.
So today he decided to take Nakai out for a walk, and talk to her about her hair and how beautiful she is with just her hair, nothing more.
I don’t even know what Boaz said to her, but she came back home with the most beautiful smile and went straight into her bathroom and did her own black hair magic. I couldn’t help but capture her joy at her crown.
She started off by feeling so sad that her hair is not the length she wants and felt the pain and struggle of being a black girl because, at her age, most black girls do not keep their own hair like she does. But she ended up so happy and felt so empowered by me and Boaz, and most importantly by her own conviction and truth, that no matter how short or nappy her hair is, her own hair is far more beautiful than any other crown she could put on.
We watch Nappily Ever After, but not many of us believe that the Black woman may have a fairytale hair story, and have her reproach taken away and throw away the wigs.
I am just glad that Nakai believes, hers is a true life Nappily Ever After and Boaz and I are so proud of her.
The Genesis Of The Revelation
By Mary-Tamar Was Jean