But It’s No Sacrifice Because I Never Was

I won’t be able to keep this to myself any more, especially when I had to go back to Zimbabwe in 2005 where I was almost an offering. I went to Zimbabwe because Miriam (who was my mother) was dying in Chinhoyi Hospital. Chief Mutota had already arranged her funeral. But for some reason, they all needed me, because each time Miriam got sick, they needed me for her to get healed. So I went, thinking I’m going to save my mother.

Chief Mutota was so angry with me, he didn’t want me to help her. He didn’t even want me to come to Zimbabwe, but they were all calling me. He took my bags out of his car and left them outside Chinhoyi Hospital and that day he said he disowned me as a daughter because I was helping Miriam who was hours away from death.

Against all odds, I transferred Miriam from Chinhoyi hospital to a Harare private hospital, Avenues Clinic.

My Dad, well my former Dad’s sister, Daisy Mtukudzi, Daisy Gashu who is married to Zimbabwe legend Oliver Mtukudzi, we called her Tete Daisy took me to her house in Norton for the first time, that time Tuku was in USA doing a show. Well that’s what she told me. I was taken by Tete Daisy in her Jeep Cherokee to spend all night in her house. The house was decorated in Nzou totem everywhere. I was so scared. But Tete Daisy prayed, did a prayer meeting before we went to bed.

Tete Daisy also asked me to arrange papers for her daughter Faith, not Oliver Mtukudzi’s s daughter. She had her own daughter before she married Oliver Mtukudzi. She asked me to send Faith an invitation letter to come to the UK to visit me. I could not understand why I had to invite Faith to UK, when Oliver Mtukudzi was always coming here and could bring his own stepdaughter when he came for shows.

Faith told me she was desperate to come to the UK, and I was her only hope. I said ok I will do it. There was another young lady living in the Guest House of Oliver Mtukudzi’s house. She was my cousin. She also took me in her guest house and asked me to do papers for her to come to UK. I was confused and said ok, because she sounded desperate too.

But when I went to hospital and told Miriam that both girls, Faith and my cousin wanted me to bring them to UK, Miriam told me I shouldn’t do it for my other cousin because her father killed my grandfather Samuel Gasho, who committed suicide and burnt himself to death. Miriam said the only person I had to bring to the UK was Faith, Tete Daisy’s daughter. So I dropped my other cousin and chose to focus on Faith only.

But I was so angry.

I was very angry with my Dad, former Dad and accused him of trying to kill Miriam.

I was sat down by all the relatives in Zimbabwe, including Tete Daisy (Oliver Mtukudzi’s wife) and Baba Obrain Gashu, (my Dad’s older brother)  who was a vodoo doctor, n’anga of the family and told me not to do this. They said Chief Mutota was my dad and I had to respect him. I told them but I feel like he’s not my father and at that time I hated him. Miriam told me to hate him, and said he’s a Wizard.

I stayed at Babamkuru Baba Obrain’s house in Harare, they gave me food to eat, and I became sick. I was given some mushonga to drink, I remember praying to God that please don’t let me die on this visit to Zimbabwe.

One night I overheard a family meeting saying a sacrifice was needed urgently.

That time Tete Daisy’s daughter with Oliver Mtukudzi,  Samantha was in hospital giving birth to a baby boy by a famous footballer. We went to see her in hospital and she said the baby’s name was Brooklyn because she was Zimbabwe’s celebrity like David and Victoria Beckham. Her husband was not around, he was in South Africa, since he was a footballer.

Apparently, Oliver Mtukudzi was very angry with Samantha and her boyfriend/husband and was refusing the roora/ lobola.

We went to see her again in hospital and one of my aunties, Baba Obrain’s first wife cooked Samantha her food so she could breastfeed because the new baby Brooklyn was not feeding.

At that time Miriam, my former mother, was also in hospital. Tete Daisy came every day to the hospital to see Miriam. She told me never to say anything negative about Miriam or Chief Mutota.

I was not happy with her. Tete Daisy. Because I felt like she was covering up something.

Anyway, I listened to the elderly, and said nothing and came back to UK.

I did the papers for Faith, Mai Mtukudzi s daughter and sent them to her as they had requested.

By the way, by the time I left Zimbabwe, Miriam was miraculously completely healed. She was not dying anymore.

What surprised me was I was talking to Faith throughout, got her address and everything, but as soon as I sent her the invitation letters to come to UK, she never replied. I never heard from Tete Daisy too about the matter.  I was very hurt and felt used and betrayed.

A few years later, Tete Daisy’s son, her only son Sam died in a car accident. Miriam, my former mother told me she had inside information about the death of Sam, that it was some sort of Ngozi or sacrifice.

There was also a big family fued that Tete Daisy’s father, who was called Va Gashu, my granddad, did not look after her as a child, and abandoned her.

But when she met Oliver Mtukudzi and he wanted kubvisa roora for her,  lobola, she was forced to go back to her Gasho family for her marriage to be facilitated.

For some reason, she was also was angry with my Dad when she got reunited with her family. And when she married Oliver Mtukudzi, the only relation she refused to invite at her wedding was my former Dad, Chief Mutota. All I know is Oliver Mtukudzi and my Dad do not see eye to eye and have some deep animosity between them.

Anyway at the death of her only son…

I could not phone Tete Daisy to bata maoko (say my condolences) because there were so many issues. I never spoke to her since.

I had to say this out, I’m not a sacrifice anymore. Never was. Like Elton John said, it’s no sacrifice at all. I’m no longer called Jean Gasho. I’m Mary-Tamar.