I don’t think a woman should ever leave her husband because he has cheated. That should never be the only reason for her to walk away.
When a man is a good provider. When he shows his wife respect. When he rightfully treats her as his queen. When he doesn’t deny her her conjugal rights. When he protects her from her enemies and gives her good counsel. When he is a good father to his children. When he wants the best for his wife and helps her career excel. Then there is more than sexual love in the marriage. There is companionship, friendship, and purpose. If his intention is never to divorce his wife but wants to spend the rest of his life with her but he has cheated in a moment of weakness and insanity, then why should a woman throw all the love, security and purpose away because of one wrong?
Why allow another woman to come and take your place and get the ‘good man’ in him? Why allow another woman to come and have children for your husband and jeopardize your children’s inheritance? What guarantee do you have that you will get a man who is better than your husband? What guarantee do you have that your next man will not cheat on you?
When it comes to cheating husbands, most of the times women listen to ‘motivational’ speeches by women who are single. Most women would rather listen to ‘friends advice’ on how not to take bullshit from their husbands. The world will give the women all the reasons to leave such a marriage. But no one ever tells women that most of the times the grass is never greener on the other side either. If anything the grass is rather dry on the other side. No one will be there with the ‘motivational quotes’ when the woman is a single mother struggling emotionally, socially and sexually.
No one will be there with the motivational quotes when the woman is now being used by men who have no intention of marrying her but just want to defile her.
I know a lot of women will find this article rather unfair. But that is the reality of life. Women will say that it should be the same if a woman cheats too, the husband should just forgive her. Well, the world doesn’t quite work like that. Women and men are different. When a man has sex with a woman, he is the giver. It can be purely sexual and not emotional. But when a woman has sex with a man, she’s the receiver, and her emotions become tied to the man.
As I have matured over the years, I have seen women whose husbands have cheated on them, chose to forgive and fight for their marriage and today they are way better off than they would have been had they listened to people and ended their marriages. On the other hand, I have seen women who left their husbands for cheating and sadly they remain spinsters or never find true love. Off course cheating is bad and very hurtful, and it takes a lot to rebuild the trust again and move on, but I do not believe it is good enough reason for a woman to leave her husband in pursuit of a new ‘non-cheating partner’.
Life is never a bunch of red roses. Even the best marriages have trials. Sometimes those trials sadly involve cheating. It is awful and never justifiable, but it should never be the sole reason why a woman has to walk away.
I think the most justifiable reason for a woman to divorce her husband is when he is abusive and cruel. When he takes away her dignity and sanity. When he belittles her and treats her as though she is not his wife. When he violates her human rights and there is no ounce of any form of love, respect and affection for her. When he deals treacherously with her heart, when her sanity, purpose, and dignity is compromised because of the marriage, then, of course, she has no choice but to leave.
When I walked away from my first marriage, cheating had nothing to do with it. There was no purpose, friendship, dignity, and no love. My entire existence and sanity were being compromised. It got to a point where my life was in danger.
When a marriage is like that, I don’t even think the man is your husband. He is rather the enemy of your soul.
But I can understand women like Victoria Beckham, Vannessa Bryant, Beyonce and many who forgave and stayed with their cheating husbands. There is no way these strong willed women would have found better men than their current husbands. These women have men who have helped them find their destiny and purpose. Their husbands have elevated them and put them on high places. Their husbands are more than lovers to them.
I can understand why Kasi Bennett never left Usain Bolt because of the cheating scandals. Usain has success, financial security, and power. We can lie to each other that money doesn’t matter in a relationship, but it does. We spend all our lives chasing money and success. So why would Kasi Bennet give all that up to other women?
In 2010, Tiger Woods’s wife Elin Nordegren chose to listen to the world and left her cheating husband even though Tiger Woods pleaded with her to give him another chance. Ever since she left her husband, she has always been in and out of relationships. It’s truly obvious that the grass has never been greener on the other side. I think she would have been better off had she given her husband another chance.
I am yet to see a woman who left her husband for cheating and she found true love on the other side. Life is not a bed of roses. I’m not defending cheating men, but unfortunately, ‘cheating’ is not excluded in the ‘for better or worse’ vows.
And recently I can understand why heavily pregnant Colleen Rooney is not in a haste to walk away from Wayne Rooney. Without Wayne Rooney, she would have never had the life she has. They have children together. They are more than just lovers. Why would she walk away and give another woman her children’s inheritance? I have so much respect for these women who refuse the ‘strong independent woman’ garbage.
Women should think with their heads and not emotions when it comes to their husbands cheating. Motivational messages about how to be a strong independent woman can be very deceptive. Cheating is never a strong enough reason to throw away your marriage and let another woman come and enjoy what you worked hard for, and worse more bear children for the man you obviously still love.
jeangasho.com 
Uchafira mafufu se gozho. A man will cheat and bring you a disease and you will be there claiming he gives you a good life that’s why I won’t walk. What kind of woman are you? Desperate to live a life you can’t afford & will sacrifice your health yes I said health just kunzi Mrs. May all the sensible women not listen to your destructive words. You’re the reason a lot of men don’t take their vows and commitments seriously.
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Jean said bad men who abuse their women do not deserve to be married. What she did not say is that there are also bad women who abuse their womanhood by bearing down on men expecting them to perform like gods, when they are also only human. Most of those women see men as enemies and not as partners. They have been so infected by the imancipation frenzy, that they are in constant competition with men, while at the same time running aroung looking sexy and trying to hook up with a male. These are lost women. I can tell you that most men appreciate Jean’s words because most men are not idiots who do all the stupid things you mentioned here. They feel Jean’s words because they know their cheating was a mistake and would like to save their marriages. But because of the idiotic advise of cold hearted ugly feminists, many women are now blindfolded and fail to seperate the wheat from the chaff.
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Well said Neville
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My mum contracted several STDs thanks to wonderful advice like this. My dad has 4 extra children with 3 different women which we only found out about 3 years ago. My mum’s fear of being a single mother being judged by people for letting ‘a good god fearing providing man’ go over the occasional moments of weakness ( which was all she caught him in) .
As a grown woman I now despise my mums weakness I detest the ‘friends’ who gave her ‘real world’ advice. It breaks my heart that she wasted her life on a piece of shit like my dad and both of them can go to hell.
What you fail to factor in is that infidelity isn’t just sex. Several couples actually have open relationships where they’re aware if one another’s lovers. Infidelity is much much more than sex and in my experience this amount of rationalisation is only done by women who are resigned to not being enough for their men so lay the foundation for making excuses in advance.
Really disappointed in this entire article.
Eloquently Encouraging vulnerable hurt women to allow men to exploit their love for them is beneath you.
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So sorry about your story dear. Sounds like your mum was in a very toxic unhealthy abusive marriage.
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It would have been a surprise if no women came out firing feeling hurt by the writer’s strong and bold words against the self-fooling ideas of today’s women. The proganda has done a lot of damage already by giving women false promises that they are better off alone than with a man. The results are starting to show, but a lot more will come and more women realise that its all been a lie by egoistic feminists.
What you fail to get is that Jean did not say a woman should NEVER LEAVE her husband NO MATTER WHAT! Instead she said crystal clear that if the man is the woman’s man, the one god gave her, who is actually the one she loves and who actually is the one who gives her the feeling of being the special person she wants to be, and overall is and has been a good man to her, then it would be a mistake to leave such a man just because he cheated.
It’s not the same as staying with a chronic cheating person who when he does that obviously does not care about his wife and is simply an idiot. There is a difference.
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Women who cheat are real whores anyway. Case close.
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When he shows his wife respect. Isnt cheating disrespect.?
When he rightfully treats her as his queen. If you cheating, aint that WRONGFULLY treating her.?
When he doesn’t deny her her conjugal rights. In most cases niggas be full by the they get to the mrs at home.
When he protects her from her enemies,”side bitches are the enemies of the main chick!”,
“Stop seeking validation from these bitch niggers”, and gives her good counsel.
When he wants the best for his wife. Really, cheats and wants the best for you? mmhh
And by the way ain’t no way Beyonce gonna leave jayz and take half his starch like she wrote half his raps, girl pliz.!
Like with Tiger my man btw, the wife had every right to leave whether she did it to please the public we don’t know…
If you really need dick that bad getvyiu a side nigga, but all jokes aside protect yourselves in these relationships ladies and gents, HIV is real, shit you need to fear herpes and these other STDs outchea……
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This is so hard to admit,but honestly I’m on the same page with you,women judge with emotions now and not with their
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Women judge with emotions now and not with their head,I mean why should you just leave after everything, no woman will take this advice but this is the truth to me.this is awesome
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Thank you for your comment dear. Wisdom.
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I actually do believe that women should leave when a man cheats.
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Well, when these women end up with
HIV, herpes and every other colorful STD cocktail under the sun, they will wake up and leave. When they find out that their husband has bastard kids with some side piece, they will leave. Only women with excruciating low self-esteem stay with scumbags. Women that know they deserve to be treated with respect, leave. It IS that simple.
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Actually i m very agree with this writer..while im finding about something like this i found this article. . I am from south asia… this is the method of asian women, she never left her husband even he was be brutal her because she is thinking about her children and her family never put their kids lives in danger to finding another man instead of their real father. Europe’s culture aren’t like us they real think about their freedom without no boundaries sadly telling you that’s why these days people have no any repecet for their marriage life..younger people get divorces…. but i agree cheating is the most powerful sin than anything but if your man really ready do and be honest to ask another chance for him you should give him and rebuild your life with more happiness normally man doesn’t ask a chance if he needn’t her
When he asked it’s mean he really need it….this article is not for be criticise much to think😊
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This article has a deep wisdom that most people wouldn’t grasp and understand, it has never been in Gods plan people to dirvoce but what can we say life has way of changing Gods plan, instruction and command.
I really do believe that if a cheating husband real apologize and wanna change a man must be given a chance and that shouldn’t be an excuse for a man to cheat but to make things right on the other side a wife must get a good advice when the situation occur, asking people what are emotionally hurt and bitter could lead a woman to a wrong decision and she would use her feeling unlike using her mind.
I really agree with these words of wisdom few people will have insight and I’m sure man women who dirvoce a husband who is willing to change regret in a later stage and most of us seem to forget the vows we took “For better for worse” I personally would forgive my partner if she need a chance and real wanna change. It has been proven a relationships that overcame cheating is the most powerful relationship.
Lastly truth is hard sometime and the truth is the opposite of what we think and wanna do never let a man who has so so much for you be punish but one mistake he did.
A women who will take this will be blessed and God will never forget you God Bless y’all.
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Dear Jean, I am finding this article in a very crucial moment in my life, and I am very thankful to you for writing it. I was googling for a long time this topic, and you are the only one, who has this fresh and new opinion. “The other” point of view that I needed to get. Really, everywhere you can find a thousand reasons why you should leave your husband. But what if he is perfect in every other way? What if you don’t want to live a new life? Isn’t there any other option than leaving? You answered to my questions that were torturing me these days. Thank you!
I am still not sure what way I will take – leave or stay. But at least, now I have the bigger view of the situation that I needed. Hopefully for the best.
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Bless you Iva
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Yea.. But often times it’s not “a MOMENT of weakness and insanity”, it’s an ongoing affair and/or more than just one woman. How often is the cheating just a guy going out and sleeping with ONE woman ONE time? Yea.. Often times the type of man that is cheating is not this great father/husband/man that you describe. Oftentimes there’s other issues besides the cheating. I would be extremely interested in what you think about a wife that is “great” but is caught cheating, should her husband then stay as well? You touch on this but don’t give an actual opinion, you just say something like “that’s not how the world works”.. Well guess what, not everyone fits into this box you are building.. My husband cheated and I let him know that he ended the monogamy of our relationship the minute he called the other woman. I caught him before any sexual intercourse was had. I know this not because they swore it or anything like that but because he was careless enough and I was stupidly trusting enough (my trust made him lax) he left all of the 2-3 months worth of text message undeleted in his phone. Still it was hurtful and disrespectful and I doubt I will ever get over it fully. The things he said to her were not all platonic. I will act accordingly. He took us out of monogamy. There’s no going back. He’s aware I feel this way and has chosen to try and work on things between us. I’m not willing to work on anything. He’s aware of that as well. He should have kept himself to himself, same as I’ve done for the 8 years we have been together. He didn’t however and I will not be played the fool after giving him 8 years of devotion, loyalty, respect, trust and faithfulness. I will follow his lead.
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